Hating You
by Music-Kingdom-Sings
Summary: Sequel to Distancing Yourself From Me. You never forget your first love. So, is it hate or love that Shizuo still feels for Izaya after he is left with only memories? Shizaya, Adult Shizuo/Izaya, Shizuo's POV.
1. Unknown Sender

Thank You **VannaUsagi13** for giving me the idea for this sequel for Distancing Yourself From Me. I know you had suggested it for that story, but I thought that it fit better here? XD Anyway, thanks a bunch! Please enjoy the new story guys and please review so I can see if this is a good beginning. I'm liking the idea in my head, but I'm a bit uneasy about it. Please tell me what you think! Anyway, some other notes before we begin...

**Notes**: POV is back to Shizuo's in this story. I know I jump around a lot. They're adults in this story so I'll be trying to make them stay in character if I can. Please forgive me if they aren't at some points. Chapter sizes will vary.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Durarara. If I did, it probably be a Yaoi series and since it's not, I'm not the owner of it :'3

OMG, was just listening to the song, _It's been a while_ by Staind and it kind reminds me of the chapter. Heh, ya I'm a dork.

* * *

People have told me that the first time you fall in love is when you're really happy. I had never thought it was true until I actually fell in love…with my childhood friend.

To be honest, we weren't really "best" friends. We'd fight and bicker, but it was because he was such a prick all the damn time. He'd constantly cause me trouble by pulling stupid pranks or by sending punks after me. He'd do stuff to other people too, causing them trouble because he liked seeing their reactions to things. But all of a sudden that dynamic had changed really drastically. I began wanting that little bug near me all the time and feelings started stirring in me whenever he was around. I got so frustrated with these feelings that I began to think that I was getting sick with something. I went to my friend, Shinra for advice and he just gave me that stupid grin he always liked to wear.

"_You're in love, Shizuo." _

I was in love with my friendly enemy…I denied it at first. Then things were really starting to irritate me and so I wanted to distance myself away from him. That plan was a failure since the little snake had plans of his own and, at the time, I didn't know that he was in love with me too. But that was a long time ago…

After the summer of that year when we got together he moved away without telling me. I should have known something was going on with him. He was acting really weird for the few weeks before he suddenly moved away (or disappeared is how I would put it because no one told me he moved away until a week later). He was becoming very clingy, more than usual and one night when we were watching a movie he had suggested something that I didn't think he'd suggest so readily, especially since, at the time, we were only together for six months.

**Flashback**

"_Shizu-chan…" He says nervously as I pull away from him after kissing him passionately. "Shizu-chan…can we…" _

"_Can we what, flea?" I ask him as I kiss his neck carefully. He pushes me slightly and looks up at me with a serious expression. He blushes a little and looks to the floor to avoid my gaze._

"_We've been dating for a while now…" He starts saying as he smiles at me. "And…I've been thinking that…I think I'm ready." _

"_You're ready?" I ask curiously, not really understanding what it is he's ready for. He glares at me and smacks the side of my head. _

"_I know I call you a protozoan and an idiot, but shouldn't you be trying to prove me wrong, Shizu-chan?" He says with a laugh, but I can still sense that he's nervous. The look in his eyes is different than usual. He's usually quite confident and calm, but the way he's looking at me, the way that he's acting is making me uneasy. "I'm talking about making love." I suddenly tense up and start laughing nervously._

"_W-what…?" I ask I feel myself getting dizzy. God, this subject isn't my forte. Kasuka asks me about sex sometimes and it's really nerve wracking because it really makes me uneasy and nervous. I mean, it's not so much that I don't think about doing that sort of thing with the flea, but we haven't been dating too long. It just seems too soon to me. I can't wrap my head around it. I wouldn't know what to do, well actually I kind of _**do**_ know what to do…but that's beside the point. I really don't want to rush this sort of thing especially since this is Izaya we're talking about. He talks about this sort of thing sometimes, but he told me once that he wants to wait until we get married (not because of religious beliefs or anything like that, but because he really wants to get married and he thinks that tempting me with sex will bribe me to propose to him). _

"_You heard me Shizu-chan." He says with a smile. I turn my head away from him and sigh. _

"_I thought you said you were gonna wait until we got married. I know you told Celty that that was your plan in making me propose to you." I say with a glare. Ever since we got together he's been really close with Celty since Shinra and her have been together longer and Izaya usually asks her about romantic crap that I don't care about. _

"_I know…but what if we never get the chance to? I mean, Shizu-chan is probably gonna take his sweet time in proposing to me. I really want my first time to be with Shizu-chan." Izaya says as he puts his head under my chin and nuzzles against my chest. Oddly enough, I really like it when he does this, especially when he's just showered since he smells like peaches. "Please Shizu-chan." He pleads seductively. The thoughts in my head tell me not to, but the bulge in my pants says otherwise. Why does he always have to do this to me?_

"_Fine…it seems like you're not gonna let me do anything until I tell you yes anyway…" _

"_Nope!" He says joyfully as he takes my hand and leads me upstairs. Why am I doing this? Don't I want this to be extra special? So why did I agree so hastily just because of my urges? Shouldn't I be stronger than that? Damn it, damn it, damn it!_

_We head upstairs and go into my room. Luckily Kasuka isn't here since he went on a date with his girlfriend Hina. My mom's gone too; she's working the late shift. I curse them for giving us the perfect opportunity for this sort of thing. _

_He holds onto my hand and brings me to my bed. He lies down and brings me on top of him, but cutely just plays with my tie that I'm wearing. I had a job interview in the morning so I had to dress up nicely. Izaya was the one who fixed my tie since every time I try to I get frustrated and rip it. _

_Izaya runs his hands through my hair and looks up at me as if I were a figment of his imagination and I could disappear at any moment. I hold onto his other hand and kiss it tenderly. He's probably surprised that I can be so gentle, but I'm glad that I can be so unpredictable because it keeps him on his toes. He likes knowing everything and it makes me happy that I can be such a challenging puzzle for him._

_I suddenly act out of impulse and slide my hand under his shirt and lift it up slightly. Izaya flinches, but he eases into my touch. He hums a little and starts kissing my neck. _

"_Why have you been acting so funny lately…?" I ask him as I nervously fumble my hands over his chest. He suddenly stops and looks at me with a nervous smile. _

"_W-what a-are you t-talking about?" He stutters cutely._

"_You're really nervous…I haven't seen you this nervous since we got together. You're even stuttering like that day." I point out as my hand travels to one of his nipples. I play with it gently and then with my other hand bring his shirt over his head. I bring my head down and begin licking his nipple. _

"_S-stupid b-brute…" He manages to say as he moans softly beneath me. My mind is going crazy right now. I guess it wasn't wise for me to bottle up all these feelings…Now I feel like a damn pervert. "I-I don't e-even know w-what y-you're t-talking about…I-I h-haven't b-been a-acting f-funny…"_

"_Liar." I say as I start sucking. With my other hand I start rubbing his other nipple. _

"_Ne…" He mutters. "I-I…I don't want Shizu-chan to hate me…" _

"_W-what are you talking about…?" I ask uncomfortably as I start feeling the tightness in my pants become a bit more unbearable. I sigh and kiss his lips tenderly. "I'd never…hate you…" Tears start to bubble in his eyes. I kiss the tears away and hold his hand tightly. "I love you…" I sink to his neck and begin giving him butterfly kisses. _

_Although he looks ready for me to advance further, when I unzip his pants and begin pulling them down he gets really tense. He looks at me as if he were a hurt puppy and moans a little as I start to rub his hardened member. He keeps saying my name at random times when he feels really good. But when I suddenly start taking off my clothes he gets kind of uneasy and scared. We're already in our boxes by this point though and I'm really hesitant to stop since my hard-on is getting really uncomfortable. _

_When I'm about to pull down his boxers, Izaya suddenly sits up crying like before. He shakes his head and tells me he's really sorry._

"_I-I c-can't d-do it…" He says as he begins to hiccup. "I-I w-want t-to…for Shizu-chan…b-but I'm a-afraid."_

_Why would he force himself through this sort of thing for me? I don't get it. I kiss his forehead and whisper to him that he doesn't have to push himself to do anything he's not ready for. _

"_I'm not mad, flea." I tell him as I hold him. But my comforting words aren't having much effect on him this time. He seems really upset about something, maybe something other than this, but I don't really want to force him to tell me. I rock him a little in my arms and surprisingly it helps me calm down too, well in a different way, but it works. _

"_You're gonna hate me…" He repeats again. "You're gonna hate me." _

And he was right. After he disappeared I felt my heart break in two. I remember the day that he disappeared. I was ignorant enough to think that he was just out sick. Then some of my classmates began gossiping that he had moved away unexpectedly. I didn't want to believe it at first because I felt like Izaya was trustworthy and he wouldn't do that to me, not when he told me all that stupid romantic stuff about being my first everything. Then Shinra was the one who had informed me of Izaya's leave. He hadn't known at the time, but he got the news from a text message he had received from him personally, from the phone number he used to have before he changed it (probably to cut all ties from me). The text read "Shinra, I'm sorry for not informing you sooner, but you probably already have noticed my absence at school. I hadn't wanted to tell anyone of my family and me leaving, but it's happened and I just want to tell you that I'm still alive, ha. I hope to meet up with you one day."

He hadn't even left me a text message or even called from wherever he was to keep in touch with me. I was hoping that he would, but he didn't. In the text message he sent Shinra he didn't even dare to mention to Shinra to tell me anything. I was hurt. I was mad. I was heartbroken. I should have known something like that would happen. I should have never opened my heart to that bastard. Even now I regret my mistake. He ruined my life!

I started smoking after that to fill the void and to "heal" my depression. Shinra and Celty were really worried about me so they suggested that after graduation I should get a job, to keep my mind off the whole thing. So, that's what I did, but after getting over the whole depression, I-can't-live-without-them phase of "breaking up," I kind of transitioned into the I-fucking-hate-them-for-dumping-me phase. Well, maybe that's not even a phase, but it is for me. It even upsets me when I hear his name. But inside my heart I think there's still a spot reserved only for him. If I ever do see him again, though, I'll fucking break him in two!

Now (me being twenty-four already) I have a stable job as a bartender, not because years ago I really took Izaya's words to heart (about me probably looking handsome in a bartender outfit), but because my brother Kasuka helped me get the job. All the other jobs I tried to get…um…weren't really interesting. Yeah, I can't really lie. I screwed up…My temper made me explode while I was on the job because customers or co-workers pissed me off and then…I would get fired. But it's alright now. I mean, it's been six years since Izaya left without telling me, but I'm sort of over it.

Now and again I'll think about the good times we had, but I then get really upset about it too. I know I shouldn't hold a grudge, especially on something that happened six years ago, but you never really forget your first love even if it was a snake like Izaya. Sometimes I'll have dreams about him, some nice, some not-so nice and some…really weird ones too…But I mean it's understandable to me since I'm still a virgin…I know it's lame and unexpected. I'm not still hoping that he'll come back and we'll have our first time together. He's probably already…done it…with someone else already…He's probably moved on.

You know what? Fuck him; he can have sex with whoever he wants to. I'm supposed to be the one who doesn't giving a flying fuck about him, so that's what I'm going to continue to do. Fucking flea is making me sound like a damn lovesick girl. It doesn't matter to me if he's still a virgin or not. A 'first time' isn't that special anyway.

"_I really want my first time to be with Shizu-chan."_

Damn it…I can still hear his voice echoing those words to me. Why do they bare so much meaning to me? What should that even mean to me now, anyway? He's gone.

[How are you doing?] Celty asks me with her PDA as I drink some tea that she served me. I look away from her and sigh. Shinra had asked me to come over to do this stupid routinely checkup or whatever. Since he's now an official, unofficial doctor (all he really has is the lab coat) he wants to celebrate by probing me. He just finished my checkup a few minutes ago and told me to stick around for tea. Celty is like my therapist so when I come over here I get two "doctors" bothering me.

"I'm fine. You don't have to keep asking me." I say bitterly. I look into the tea and see my reflection in it. "After all this time, it's just a memory now. I just still can't believe that he'd do that to me after all that we'd been through. I mean he should have fucking told me if he had to move away!" Suddenly the cup breaks in my grasp. I curse before picking up the pieces. "Sorry…"

[Maybe you should start dating again.]

"No, I rather not go through that again…Besides…everyone's scared of me…" I say sadly as I sigh and then feel a stabbing feeling on my arm. Shinra shows his face and holds up the syringe that he had injected me with.

"Don't worry; it was just something to calm you down." He explains with a smile. I give him a glare as I rub my arm which stings. "I know how you get when Celty asks you about Iz—" Celty elbows him really hard, which shuts him up before he can finish that fucking name. "Ah…right, right never mind…" He coughs and waves his hand as if saying 'forget what I said.'

[You should rest here for the night. Shinra _did_ just inject you with something to calm you down. What if you feel dizzy or faintish later?] Celty's PDA reads.

"I'll be fine." I say as I get up. "I have work in an hour, so I'm gonna head out." I say as I fix my bartender suit. I head out after saying my goodbyes to Celty and Shinra. In this town there's a bunch of shady characters at night, but I'm not afraid because I have my strength to fall back on. While I'm thinking of that, I suddenly hear my phone ring so I dig it out of my pocket and find a new message from some unknown number. I open the message and look at it curiously.

_I'm back. _

"What?" I say to myself after I read the message. Before I could respond to it and see if I could get the person to say who they are, I hear police sirens echoing and then they sound like they're getting closer and closer. There's no way they could be coming for me, right? I haven't done anything. But, the police cars suddenly park all around me and I suddenly tell myself that I'm in some deep shit. Two policemen handcuff me and try to control me to restrain me further, but I'm struggling to get free and telling them that I'm not the guy they're looking for and that I haven't done anything wrong.

Then I see someone come out of one of the cars parked in front of me. My eyes widen as I noticed the slim figure, the jet black hair, and those intense-looking eyes. How could I forget such a face? And then there was that smirk. That damn smirk...How could I ever forget _that_?

There's the man whom I hate with all my heart, but the one who I once loved with all my heart too.

Izaya Orihara.

* * *

A/N: OMG! You guys probably saw that coming XD Yeah, I'm pretty bad at surprises. Anyway, please review and tell me if it's a good start or not! Tell me if I'm doing something wrong too. Thanks you guys, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!


	2. It's Really Him

Here's the next chapter YAY! This chapter was a lot of fun for me and I even got the motivation to write a whole lot more, maybe two more chapters yesterday. I'll upload new chapters everyday so don't you guys worry. I'm not really busy anymore since school ended. I'm on summer vacation and have nothing much to do since I'm still recovering from a broken ankle. Besides, writing is one of my passions! Tell me if there's something wrong here, anything at all. I don't really mind getting yelled at for mistakes.

**Important**: I'm not sure if I should prolong the time that Izaya explains or just have it in the next chapter or the second to next chapter. Would that be too soon? Also, I'm sorry if they run off to become more OOC later in the chapters. My imagination sometimes kills me DX

* * *

After spending the night at the police station, everything was cleared up and I was released to go back home. Unfortunately, that didn't mean that I was allowed to have my job back since after my boss heard about it, he regretted to inform me that I was fired. Unemployment sure feels pretty crappy, especially when you have a bunch of bills piling up and especially when you're brother had done a favor for you and told you to keep that damn job. Kasuka found out about it after Shinra and Celty did and he wasn't too pleased with me.

Maybe it's because of the time I spent in a the police station, but I began to think that maybe what I saw last night, or who I saw last night was just a figment of my imagination. Shinra would call it "wishful thinking" because I want to see him so badly—I mean—to beat the crap out of him. But the eyes and the figure were so similar to him. Could he have really been here? Was he really back?

_I'm back. _

The message could have been from him because he had changed his number once he disappeared. Right after I found out that he moved away I called him and the phone number didn't belong to anyone. I figured that he wanted to cut all ties from me so he changed his phone number. Shinra and Celty tell me not to think about it too much because I might fall back into depression, but I tell them I feel stronger than before. I won't let the memory of someone who obviously didn't love me bring me down.

But this wasn't a memory. It _was_ him. I'm pretty sure of it. He looked a bit different and more mature than the old Izaya. He didn't seem like the type to cry anymore. He looked a bit more sinister and mischievous than before. Could he have changed after so long? I don't doubt it since he seemed pretty messed up when we were together too. But his personality wasn't too extreme in that he didn't go as far as to send the police after people. The other thing I noticed was his attire. He wasn't wearing his old black, short jacket, red plain shirt, and black pants. He was wearing some stupid looking, furry jacket, black pants, and a lighter black shirt underneath. He looked fucking ridiculous in that stupid jacket. He also had silver rings, one on each hand on his index fingers. Appearance-wise he hasn't changed much. He still has short, black hair, light skin, and a slim figure (I can tell he still cares about his fucking weight).

The sight of him just seemed to piss the hell out of me. I wanted to break him in half. He's the last person I wanted to see. Why is he back?

[Are you sure?] Celty lifts her PDA and lets me read it. I nod angrily as I pace back in forth.

After the whole arrest incident I came back here to talk to Celty to calm down, but so far our little talk hasn't made me any less mad. She just keeps asking me if I'm sure it was him.

"God, I wanted to fucking bash his brains in!" I say as I clench my hands in frustration. "Why the fuck did he come back? I was doing just fine before he came and messed everything up! Fucking louse, fucking flea, fucking little snake, bastard!"

"Calm down, Shizuo." Shinra says as he pats my shoulder with a grin still on his face despite my anger. "I'm sure it was just your imagination. I'm sure Izaya would give me notice if he was to ever return."

"He gave _me_ notice before he fucking sent the cops out on me!" I say as I lift my cell phone up and show Shinra the anonymous message from the unknown number. I angrily grind my teeth as I wait for him to confirm my assumptions.

"Nonsense; that message could be from anyone. It's an unknown number." Shinra states as he gives me back my phone. "Look, you should focus on the problems at hand. Problem one: you don't have a job so you better get to searching."

"I wouldn't have any fucking problems if that fucking flea didn't cause them!" I say loudly as I grit my teeth.

"It's all in your head, Shizuo." Shinra repeats as he heads back into his study. I want to beat _his_ fucking brains out too.

[You should try to relax, Shizuo. Shinra's probably right. Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you. I mean, it was pretty dark last night right? You didn't really get a good view of this guy's face, did you?]

"Well…no…I guess it was pretty dark…and with all the police car lights in my eyes I guess I mistook the figure as him…" I say as I start to calm down. Maybe they're right…I mean with all the lights in my eyes blinding the hell out me, I could have just thought I saw him standing there. My mind must be pretty fucked up to make me see that damn flea.

After settling myself down I went back home to rest a little before trying to go find yet another job. I struggle with my keys for a moment before opening the door and heading inside lazily. I sigh as I get to the living room and collapse on the couch. I run my fingers through my hair and look up at the ceiling dully as I try to imagine what job would suit me. I've almost tried everything…Then I hear my phone ringing so I dig it out of my pocket and see a new message from another unknown number that's different than the last.

_I love you._

I type a reply to the unknown angrily and then send it quickly.

_**Who the fuck are you?**_

I wait for a moment before a new message pops up.

_I've really missed you._

This fucker isn't gonna answer my questions…I need to find out who has this stupid number.

_**Look, if you're not gonna tell me who you are, at least tell me if I know you.**_

_Saying something like that makes me quite sad that you wouldn't just know immediately._

_**How can I? I don't know this fucking number.**_

_Ah, but you should at least remember the only person who loved you with all their heart long ago, right?_

It suddenly hit me, but how could this be him? Did this little snake have two different phone numbers? Wasn't that him before saying that he was back?

_I hope we can meet again, but right now I'm terribly busy. So texting should be enough for now. How's it been, Shizu-chan?_

It _is_ him. That fucking louse! I'm gonna kill him once I find him!

_**What the fuck do you mean, 'how's it been'! You should know! You little bastard! You fucking disappeared without a word and you think you can just expect me to act all friendly to you as if nothing ever happened?**_

_I'd take it you haven't been well? Haha._

_**You little shit! The next time I see you, you're fucking dead!**_

_I spent all this time trying to get back to see my beloved Shizu-chan and this is how you talk to me? That's not very nice~_

I clench my hands into a fist and hold onto my phone tightly out of anger. How could this be him after all this time? So, he kept my number? Suddenly another message appears.

_Well, I have to work, so Shizu-chan and I can talk later. Don't be shy to send me a text sometime, sweetheart. Love you~_

_**Fuck you.**_

I close my phone and throw it to my sofa chair. God, this can't be happening. If he's back then why does he act as if he's done nothing wrong? Why did he send the cops after me? What could he have been doing all this time and why didn't he tell me about everything at the beginning?

"I need a smoke…" I say as I put my arm over my forehead. Too bad I had my last cigarette this morning…

After sulking and pacing angrily for a little while I decide to just go to bed, even if it's only eleven in the morning. I had a rough night last night so who cares? My curtains are pretty dark anyway so they block out most of the sunlight.

Even though that damn flea and I never shared a bed, I still feel really lonely every now and again because of the empty spot to my right. I cover myself with my clean sheets and try to relax. I look up at the ceiling and wonder about how the hell I'm supposed to make it without a job. There's always…But what if he's not offering the position anymore? Well, I should at least call him up and see. It's gonna pretty embarrassing if he's already found someone else to cover that position though.

I lean over and scavenge around in my drawers that are next to my bed and find the phone number of my old friend Tom. Back in middle school we used to hang out every now and again (when that prick Izaya wasn't always clinging onto me). And recently he had offered me a job as his bodyguard which I turned down because Kasuka had already found me the job as a bartender. But now since I'm out of a job, I'm hoping that the position is still open. I start dialing his phone number and wait to hear someone's voice.

"Hello?" It's Tom's voice. Good.

"Hey, Tom. It's me Shizuo…" I say awkwardly. I don't really call people since I don't really have friends. Shinra always talks to me about Celty and his work when I call him so I gave up calling him all together. Celty doesn't make calls, just texts.

"Oh, hey buddy. How are you?" Tom asks casually.

"Um…doing okay health-wise, but...Listen, I was wondering if that bodyguard position was still open." I ask nervously.

"Oh, yeah. It is. Why? Did you change your mind?" He asks happily.

"Well, something like that. I kind of got fired today so…yeah…"

"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that. I got you covered though. You and I can meet up tomorrow near Russian Sushi to discuss the job requirements, which aren't really much, and all the other stuff. How does that sound?"

"That sounds fine." I say casually.

"Alright. Does ten thirty work for you?"

"Yeah, that works just fine." I say as I note the time on a piece of paper.

"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye."

"Yeah, see ya. Bye." I say before hanging up. Well, it's not a real high paying job, but at least it's something, right? The flea better not ruin this job for me, wherever the fuck he is. I lie back down on my bed and close my eyes, feeling quite relieved with myself for taking care of that problem. That was easier than I thought…I suddenly find a new message on my phone and I can already tell it's that damn flea again. My brain tells me not to read it, but somewhere deep, deep in my stupid heart tells me to read it.

_I'm really booored. I'm in a stupid meeting. Do you mind if I talk to you Shizu-chan?_

I scowl and check the time when it was sent and notice that it was just a couple minutes ago. I decide to play along even if I'm still mad as hell at him.

_**What the fuck do you want now?**_

_Oh good, you're still available to talk. You weren't answering so I thought you were busy :) So what are you up to?_

_**I am kind of busy…hating your fucking guts! Stop fucking texting me, you fucking louse!**_

_That's not very nice, Shizu-chan :(_

Something suddenly tugs at my heartstrings as I imagine the old Izaya and how he used to be kind of a cry baby, a cute cry baby.

_**Look, just what is it that you want from me? I don't want to fucking talk to you after what you did!**_

_I had a good reason for what I did Shizu-chan…I just can't tell you…But just know that I really do still love you. I never stopped (heart)_

_**Shut the fuck up. I know that's not true. Just stop texting me and leave me alone!**_

I hang up and try to pull myself together. Why does he have to pull me back? Why does my heart still long for someone who tossed me aside like I was trash? Maybe Izaya was right; I am an idiot. I sigh and then look at the only picture I have of Izaya and me together. Don't ask why I still have it by my bedside because I wouldn't know what to say. Do I really still love him?

* * *

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter because I enjoyed writing it, or typing it, whatever XD The conversations Shizu-chan and Izaya have are really fun to write since they bicker a lot. But ANYWAY, if you have anything you guys want to see in this story, any suggestions I might be able to put one suggestion in if it totally fits and I'll give the credit of the idea to you! Just PM about it so it's a secret to the rest of the readers. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW, IT MAKE ME SMILE. I love the reviews you guys give me, I read everyone of them, (eats cookies given and gives blueberry to Snowie-kun, nom nom nom)


	3. Memories

I'm really glad people are liking this story. All will be explained in the next chapter, so stay tuned! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy. I really tried my best on this chapter, so I'm sorry if there are mistakes, or whatnot. But back to the story!

**Important Notes**: In the last chapter Shizuo had take a nap at 11:00 and had called Tom before he drifted off to sleep and in this chapter it's still on the same day that he called Tom. Tom told Shizuo he'd meet with him at 10:30am tomorrow. In the next chapter it will be tomorrow. I'm sorry if I confused people DX

* * *

"_Shizu-chan…" Izaya says as Shizuo holds the smaller man tightly. He kisses his lips tenderly and travels down to Izaya's collarbone and places butterfly kisses. "Shizu-chan…I'm sorry…"_

"_You don't have to apologize…" Shizuo says as he rubs his hardened member against Izaya's. A soft moan escapes the younger man's lips as Shizuo continues his actions. He kisses Izaya again and this time slips his tongue in to taste the sweetness of his lover's mouth. He tastes really good, Shizuo says to himself. His hand suddenly travels down and into Izaya's boxers to carefully pump his lover's needy member. _

_Shizuo then feels Izaya's hand travel to his boxers as well and slip inside to grasp on Shizuo's hardened member and pumps it lovingly. Shizuo then hastily releases Izaya's member and with his other hand he presents his fingers to Izaya and tells him to suck them. Izaya gladly does so, all the while seductively coating the digits with saliva slowly, making Shizuo go crazy. Shizuo removes his fingers from his lover's mouth and slowly slips them into his entrance. Izaya flinches and his head turns to the side as Shizuo starts to stretch him a little by scissoring his fingers. A third finger enters the smaller man, which makes his breathing become more heavy and rapid. Shizuo places butterfly kisses on his lover's chest and then plays with his nipples with his tongue. _

"_Ne…Shizu-chaahh…" Izaya says as Shizuo starts to suck the tender skin. "Shizu-chan…you're gonna…make me come…" _

"_No, not yet…" Shizuo says as he rubs his thumb on Izaya's tip. Shizuo positions himself at Izaya's entrance and enters his lover slowly as Izaya becomes used to his size. Izaya starts to moan and writhe in pain, but then settles down as Shizuo starts to thrust into his gently before picking up the pace. _

"_Aahh…" Izaya manages to say as Shizuo rocks back and forth into his lover. "Deeper…Shizu-chan…" With that, Shizuo begins to thrust harder and deeper into Izaya. After two or three more thrusts, his member finally hits Izaya's prostate. "Aahh!" Izaya screams as his body becomes limp with pleasure. Shizuo smirks happily and continues to thrust into Izaya, hitting his lover's prostate over and over again. _

"_Let's come together…Izaya…" Shizuo musters as he holds onto Izaya's hand with his free hand. Izaya nods exhaustedly and holds Shizuo's hand tightly as he feels himself closer to his climax. After a few more thrusts both of them finally have their releases while screaming each other's names. _

_Shizuo collapses onto Izaya and pants heavily before getting up slowly off of Izaya and kisses his lover before covering him with the sheets. Izaya turns over to look at Shizuo and smiles. Shizuo smiles back as he runs his fingers through his lover's black, soft hair. Izaya puts his arms around Shizuo and sighs tiredly. Shizuo holds onto Izaya and then suddenly hears the sound of the…alarm clock?_

I get up and look at my alarm clock that I had set for six o'clock at night so I could get up to go to work at the bar, but I then remember I don't have that job anymore. I slam my hand on the snooze button and then sit up but notice the uncomfortable feeling in my pants. I pick up the sheets and curse myself for stooping so low as to actually have a dream like that…I head to the bathroom and change into some clean, lounge-wear clothing.

"Fucking louse." I say as I wash my face. A part of me wished that I never had that dream to begin with while the other part of me wished that I had never woken up. I feel like I'm battling with myself and I hate it because how can I win or lose that kind of battle? I slip on a jacket and then head out to walk around Ikebukuro for a while to relax my body and mind. When I get out of my apartment and head downstairs I come across my younger brother and his girlfriend, Hina. I want to try to avoid talking to him because I feel really guilty for getting fired even if it wasn't my fault. Kasuka doesn't allow me to escape though.

"Hello big brother." He says as he approaches me. I slide my key into my pocket and nervously say hello back. "Where are you going this late?"

"Huh? Oh, well it's not that late…Besides, I'm just taking a walk. What about you?"

"Oh, just spending time with Hina before I head back to shooting the new movie. Since I'm town I thought that I should come and see how you were doing, especially since I heard from Shinra that you had an encounter with Izaya-kun." Hina clings onto my brother lovingly, which kind of reminds me of the flea when he used to do the same when we were younger. I doubt he'd do that now though…What the fuck am I saying? I don't want him to do that to me anyway, I hate him!

"Yeah, I just discovered that that fucking louse is back and I just want you to know that he's the reason why I got fired! He framed me just like he used to do when we were younger, the little snake!" I say as I suddenly see two little figures scampering around not too far from me, Kasuka, and Hina. I then realize that it's Izaya's crazed sisters approaching us.

"It is! it's really Yuuhei!" Mairu says as she and Kururi approach us suddenly. "Gah! You're even more handsome in person!"

"Handsome." Kururi says happily.

"What the fuck are you two doing around here!" I ask angrily.

"Hmm? Oh, it's you Shizuo." Mairu says as she points at me. "Kururi and I were just in town and we thought we saw Yuuhei walking around here."

"Is…is your brother with you?" I ask nervously.

"Why would he be with us?" Mairu asks curiously. "We haven't seen him since he moved out."

"What do you mean? Didn't you and your family move away?" I ask curiously.

"No, Iza-nii was the one who moved out and moved to Shinjuku." Mairu says simply. "Our family just moved on a different street two years ago."

"W-what?" I say angrily as I clench my fists. He's the only who moved away? "Why the hell did he move away?"

"We don't really know. I mean, it could be because of dad, but…we're not entirely sure."

"What do you mean 'because of dad'?"

"I don't think Iza-nii wants us to tell you about what happened. Let him tell you himself. He told us that he was back, maybe you should talk to him." Mairu suggests as she shrugs. So even his family doesn't know why he left? Could it be that Izaya moved because of me? Did he want to get away from me? But what could I have done wrong? "Yuuhei! Can we get your autograph! Please!" Mairu asks loudly towards Kasuka. I tell my brother that I'm gonna go walking so I excuse myself from the group and head off.

So, it wasn't his family that unexpectedly decided to move, it was only him. Mairu said something about their father, but what could he have done to make Izaya leave town? Could it really be that bad? Come to think about it, I never met his father. In fact, I never met his father during the time when Izaya and I were together, which is kind of weird because isn't it common to meet your lover's parent's? God, I was such an idiot back then. Why does all of this matter to me now though?

"Ah, Shizuo! Come eat sushi! Sushi good." Simon, the big, dark skinned guy who works at Russian Sushi says as I pass the restaurant. I tell him that I'm not in the mood and he seems to leave me alone for the time being. I swear if I pass by there again he'll start bugging me again. When Izaya and I were still dating we'd go to Russian Sushi every now and again. They weren't really dates, per say, since we did that kind of thing when we were just friends, but the atmosphere around us was different than before. And the stuff we did while we were at the restaurant was pretty lovey-dovey too. Izaya was the one who usually did all the lovey-dovey stuff in public though. I usually did romantic things with him in private places like our houses or something. And no that doesn't mean we had sex, it was just the usual small things couples do like kiss or cuddle, stupid shit like that.

**Flashback**

"_Shizu-chan is such a shy guy at heart~" Izaya says as he picks at his fatty tuna. I'm sitting next to him, a little more closely than when we weren't dating. People are looking at us, but that doesn't really surprise me since we're acting unusual. After two months in this relationship I feel really comfortable laughing with him and playing around with him. "Are you sure you don't want some of my fatty tuna? It was made by the Gods, you know?" _

"_You always say that, flea." I say as I roll my eyes and continue eating my sushi._

"_I'd expect you to say 'There's nothing special about that fatty tuna, flea, except for the special person eating it~'" Izaya tries to mimic my voice. I spit out my drink a little in anger and push him a little._

"_What the fuck! I'd never say something stupid like that!" I say angrily as I wipe my mouth off with a napkin. _

"_You guys, eat, eat. No more fighting." Simon says as he approaches us with his usual smile. _

"_Ah, we're not fighting Simon. Shizu-chan is in love with me now; we don't fight just bicker." Izaya says with a laugh. _

"_Flea!" I say angrily. _

"_And I'm in love with Shizu-chan too." Izaya adds sincerely as he looks at me passionately. I suddenly choke up and stop dead in my tracks. A blush rushes to my cheeks and I avoid making eye contact with Izaya. Simon just says that 'that's good, that's good' and heads off to help other customers. "Ne, Shizu-chan, try it." He says as he pushes the fatty tuna piece in front of my mouth. I mumble something incoherent to Izaya and then open my mouth and let him feed me._

Despite being a little embarrassed that day, I also felt really warm and happy. It was always the little things that Izaya did that made me really happy and lovesick. He'd constantly tell me that he loved me when I woke up in the morning and also late at night before I went to bed. Now I just feel like punching him in the face!

I check my cell phone and see if there are any new messages, but nothing new is in my inbox. I feel slightly disappointed. I mean it's not like I want to read more of that fucking flea's messages, but it's sort of fun when we bicker like we used to. I still hate him though.

I suddenly feel like someone's watching me so I turn around, but no one suspicious is around. Suddenly there's a scream heard a couple feet away from me before a gunshot echoes. People around me start to panic and head off running away from the direction of the gunshot. As the street clears I see the victim's body lying on the ground. I slowly back away and high tail it out of there before the cops think it was me.

When I turn a corner my mouth is covered and I'm forced into the shadows. When I turn around and grab the person's wrists I'm face to face with the man I've had my mind on all day.

"You!" I say as my hand suddenly goes to his throat and I slam him against the wall.

"Shizu-chan…this is how you treat someone who saved you?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You really don't know, do you?" Izaya says as smiles. "Look, enough of that. Just let me go, please."

"Not a chance. I finally have you right where I want you." I tell him as I tighten my hold on his throat. He suddenly looks at me with fear and puts his hand on my wrist, trying to make me let go. As I see that he's in pain and struggling to breath I finally let go, making him fall to the ground. He coughs and looks up at me.

"Ah, I see your strength hasn't left you." Izaya says as he struggles to breathe. "Shizu-chan…I really wish I could tell you about everything, but I can't…It's much too dangerous to…at least for now…"

"What?" I ask as I bend down and eye him curiously. "What are you talking about?" He smiles and then, without much warning, brings me towards him and kisses me on the lips. He holds onto the back of my head and pushes me so that I don't escape. I then realize what I'm getting into and push him away and rid my lips of his saliva. "What the fuck!"

"It would be best if you just stayed in touch with me through my phone. It's safer that way." Izaya says as he looks at me seriously. "I know you're not really happy with me right now, but trust me when I say that I still love you, Shizu-chan." He pauses and then turns around. "Well, we'll see each other again." He says before disappearing into the shadows. I touch my lips and wonder why it is that it felt so good. I feel nostalgia suddenly hit me as I remember how good it felt all those years ago. The feeling of his lips was always so inviting, so warm.

What the hell did he mean when he said I don't really know? Know about what? Why am I always left in the fucking dark!

I walk over to the corner and see if everyone's gone, but then I see a group of guys near a parked car. They kind of look like yakuza. I then overhear them talking about something.

"Well? Where did that little snake run off to now?" One of the guy's asks as he looks around. "He said he wouldn't run off like last time."

"That doesn't matter. Let's go. He can't get far. He can't escape anyway." The other guy says as he enters the car. Then the second guy follows. The car drives off and I'm let without any questions answered. I just have even more questions. Who were those guys looking for? What were they doing here?

God, my head is spinning. If only everything could be solved. If only I could get the answers to all my questions then I could figure things out and then I wouldn't feel so frustrated.

I walk home after going to the convenience store to buy more cigarettes. I open the package up and light a cigarette so it can calm my nerves. Man, my head suddenly hurts. Why is everything so stupid? Even if it may or may not be Izaya's fault, I still blame him for all the trouble he's caused me. This headache is his fault too.

When I enter my apartment after looking for my key for almost five minutes, I set down my grocery bag on the kitchen counter and head to my bedroom to go back to sleep. I collapse on my bed and sigh tiredly as I rub my temples. Maybe tomorrow will be better? I close my eyes and drift off to sleep hoping not to have a similar dream like I had before.

"_Shizu-chan…you love me right?" Izaya asks me as he and I look up to the clouds as we lie down with each other on the grass._

"_Yeah of course I do." I tell him happily as I put my hands behind my head._

"_And you promise that you always will, right?" Izaya asks nervously. _

"_I promise." I say as I sit up and kiss his cheek. "Stupid _flea_." _

"_I'm gonna make sure you keep that promise." Izaya says as he tackles me onto the grass. "_Protozoan_."_

A/N: What the heck? Who are the yakuza looking for? What did Izaya mean by "You really don't know, do you?" and why doesn't Shizuo just admit to himself he loves his dear flea? Too many questions to answer for my brain, but all will be revealed in the next chapter, if not then the next next chapter! YAY. Bye, until next time!


	4. Denial and Truth

Hello again :D I'm here with the chapter with most of the answers! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It was really troublesome, but fun to create the explaination and whatnot. Next few chapters are gonna have drama stuff, but I promise there will be happiness in later chapters. You guys already know I don't like sad endings XD This story may or may not have more chapters than the other stories. I'm not done writing it on Word yet, so I'll see how many chapters this will have maybe in a day or so? I'm sorry if this has a few mistakes. I have a real bad headache and I was editing it while still kind of sick so forgive me, but don't hestiate to tell me where the mistakes are. I love reviews :3

* * *

The next morning I get up at nine so I can take a shower and get dressed for my meeting with Tom. After doing all that I head downstairs and walk over to Russian Sushi where Tom told us we were going to meet up. But before I get there I get a text from Izaya.

_Good morning Shizu-chan. How are you, sweetheart~?_

_**Didn't I say not to text me anymore?**_

_Well, yeah, but you should know that I never listen to a word you tell me (heart) Do you want to meet up later today? I've got some meetings but I can meet up with you tonight if you have time. _

_**I don't want to meet up with you at all. Every time I run into you, there's trouble. So fuck off.**_

_Shizu-chan…I don't mean to cause any trouble…I just want to see you. I haven't seen you in so long. _

_**If you don't mean to cause trouble then why the fuck did you get me fired from my job?**_

_Oh…that…well I have my reasons…But you have to understand that I really didn't want to leave. I _had_ to…I didn't want to get you into any trouble. I can explain if you'll let me tonight. _

_**I don't need to listen to your excuses.**_

_They aren't excuses, Shizu-chan. Please, I really do want to explain everything. Tonight is the only night I can do this. Please. _

The way he seemed to be practically begging to talk seemed to really tug at my heartstrings, leaving my brain at the mercy of my naïve heart. I sigh and type in my answer.

_**This better not be a fucking trap.**_

_I promise it isn't (heart) I'll see you tonight. Love you~_

I must be an idiot.

I make it to the entrance of Russian Sushi and meet up with Tom to discuss the job in question. During our conversation we talked about pay, job hours, and just plain description of the job. I agreed to everything and he asked me if I could start right away. I told him I didn't mind. I needed the money. He needed my help so it was a win, win situation. Basically my job was to scare the people who didn't pay their debts to Tom in time or who have extended their due date because they usually come up with excuses. I was told by Tom to just scare them into giving him the money. Since I'm already pretty infamous around here, most people took one look at me and surrendered the money so fast they made Comcast high speed internet look slow. I didn't have to do much throughout the day and we finished before five.

"Hey, Shizuo do you have time to spare?" Tom asks me as he smiles.

"Huh? Why?"

"Well, do you want to accompany me for some drinks?" He asks generously. "We haven't hung out for so long I've just been wondering what you've been up to."

"Well, I actually have somewhere to be, but maybe I could have just one." I say as I scratch the back of my head. I don't usually drink, but all this stress I'm getting from that stupid louse might be calmed down by a drink or two.

We head into a bar called _The Drunken Forest _and take our seat at the stools in front of the bartender. Tom pats my back and tells me that he's buying.

"It's my treat." Tom says happily. "You look pretty tense lately anyway."

"Do I?" I asks as the bartender serves us each some beer. Tom nods and takes a drink. "I guess I have been really stressed out lately. I mean, I just found out that my ex, who moved away, is back in town." I say vaguely trying not to mention that my ex is that fucking flea. Tom knows Izaya from middle school before Tom transferred to another school. Izaya and him weren't really buddies, but if I told him that I was with Izaya he'd know who I'm talking about. I rather not come out and tell Tom that I'm queer. I rather like my reputation as is even if people think I'm a monster.

"Oh, you hooked yourself a girl?"

"Um…yeah…but she moved away without telling me and now she's back…It's just really troubling me." I hold onto my small mug and bring it to my lips. I drink a little and put it down after a big chug.

"Cuz you still like her." It wasn't a question. Tom looks at me and pats my back. "I can tell by the way you look while you're talking about her right now."

"I don't still love that damn flea." I say bitterly. I hate it when I slip up with my words.

"Flea? Didn't you used to call Izaya that when were in middle school?" Tom asks as he looks up at the ceiling trying to remember. "Yeah, you did." He looks over to me and laughs nervously. "Is it the beer talking now or is it true?"

"Either way what I just said would be true…with or without the beer." My mother always told me that children and drunks always told the truth. "That damn flea…" I breathe out angrily. "Look, I better head out; I'm not really in the mood to continue our little chat."

"No need to leave so soon. I mean, if it's really bothering you, we could still talk." Tom says with a shrug. "Relax a while. It really helps." I sigh and nod as I sit back down next to him. "I'm not judging you, Shizuo, but why all of a sudden did you…?"

"I don't know…" I say honestly as I look at my beer. "My brother once told me that sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with; it just happens. I told him that if he wasn't my brother I would have punched him in the face."

"Haha, that's just like you; always the fighter." Tom says with a laugh as he pats my back.

"I hate violence." I say simply. "Anyway, that damn flea just left without telling me and now he's back and I just want to break his fucking neck for what he did to me."

"But you also want him back, am I right?" Tom says with a laugh. I look over to him with a glare and hold the beer more tightly in my hand. "Shizuo, face it. It may be hate you're feeling for him, but you want him back all the same."

"Why the fuck would you think that?" I ask with gritted teeth.

"Because a person never really forgets their first love and you, my friend, were always lonely, always longing for someone to love you. When it finally happened it overfilled you with that feeling you were deprived of for so long and so that's why you feel so much hate for him right now. To be given something you were deprived of and then have that taken away upset you that much more, but because you're a very passionate man—expressing both hate and love intensely—you still long for that feeling you once had, with the person you loved the most."

"You sure know how to monologue, Tom." I say simply. He laughs and pats my back.

"Eh, I read a lot of books and besides I know you pretty well." Tom says with a smile. I nod and then sigh.

"I think I'm gonna head home. I'm a little less stressed now. Thanks Tom." I slide the beer towards him and tell him he can have it. "I'm not much of a drinker and besides I don't want to show up drunk as hell when I meet Izaya." He nods and wishes me luck. I only drank half of the beer, usually one full or two beers would get me wasted since I don't have a high tolerance for alcohol so I'm glad I didn't over do it. If Izaya is anything like he used to be he'd be freaking pissed off he saw me drunk. Not that I care much, but I just don't like him nagging at me. It's fucking annoying and I don't want to get another headache.

"Have a good night and thanks for the hard work." Tom says before I walk off. I wave goodbye and then look at my phone. My phone annoyingly tells me that I have twenty new messages from the stupid flea.

_Shizu-chan, are you off work yet? I'm getting really bored._

_I'm already done with my meetings so I'm gonna wait for you to text me. I rather like it if you didn't call. Don't ask why._

_Are you done yet? _

_Hello? _

_Shizu-chaaaaaan~_

_Are you dead or what? Did someone murder you? If this is the person who murdered Shizu-chan I will hunt you down and castrate you. If you're a woman I shall chop off your breasts! Hmm...you'd have to be knocked out for me to do that. I'll probably hit you with a bat or a 2x4 if I can find one laying around. Ooh~ I have a bunch of pans! I can hit you with one of those. Never underestimate the power of kitchen utensils :D_

_Shizu-chan, please tell me you're off work now…_

_Shizu-chan did you know that I still have that sailor suit? You know, the one I wore to make myself appealing to you, well, _more_ appealing than I already was. I still have the clips too. You want me to wear that outfit to our little date~?_

Geez, he really doesn't know when to stop. He probably already had a damn heart attack. I type up my response and wait for him to answer.

_**I'm off work now. Why the fuck did you send me so many messages? You just kept talking about nonsense!**_

_Ah, Shizu-chan! I was waiting for you for so long. I began to think that maybe I was stood up._

_**You'd deserve it if I did go through with it.**_

_So mean, so mean. Anyway, I'm waiting over here at your place. I'll see you soon~_

My place! What the fuck is he doing there? I hurry back home and find that my apartment door was opened. How the hell did he get my key? Did he pick my lock? Fucking louse! He's a dead man! I walk inside and notice that the lights are on. I walk into the kitchen and see the flea standing there wearing an apron. He looks over to me as if what he's doing isn't abnormal at all and tells me to sit down and have dinner.

"I made all your favorites." He manages to say before I walk over to him and pull him up by the collar of his gray sweat shirt that he's wearing. He only smirks at me and laughs a little. "Always so violent, Shizu-chan."

"What are you doing in my house, you parasite!" I say loudly as I tighten my hold on him. Even though I do want to beat the crap out of him right now, the closeness of our bodies seems to make me drift off into a daydream of us holding each other while in bed. I shake the thought and just stare at the flea until he provides me with the answers I have the right to be given.

"Now, now Shizu-chan, just sit down and I can explain everything if you'll let me." Izaya says as his smirk seems to disappear and in its place appears a sincere smile. I decide not to fight with him since I might mess up my house so I just sit down at the table angrily and begin to eat. Izaya sits across me calmly before sighing and looking at me with a serious expression on his face that I haven't seen for a long time. "You look well."

"Yeah…I guess…" I say awkwardly.

"I don't expect you to love me again after what I did." Izaya says with a short laugh. "But I just want you to understand my reason for suddenly disappearing without notice. And I don't want you to tell anyone. Got it?" I look up at him and nod.

"Well, I better start at the beginning…Hmm, well I guess I should start with what my father had said to me…" Izaya begins sternly. "It was a few weeks before I disappeared. Thinking about it now makes me feel quite stupid, but at the time I got really upset. You see, I made the mistake to inform my parents about my relationship with you."

"You what?" I ask calmly.

"Yeah, I spilled the beans." Izaya says simply. "At that point we had already been dating for five months, I'm guessing." He pauses to drink some water and then clears his throat. "Let's just make a long story short and say that he didn't take the news very well. He and I had an argument and that's when I wanted to really move out and maybe live with you, but I knew that was too much to ask for since we were still young and unstable in our relationship. But before all that, I had caught note that the yakuza were after my ass for selling some information that had caused them quite a bit of trouble. Turns out, my little stunt cost them a few of their best men to get shot. Ne, that upset them quite a bit."

"And when did this all happen if we were dating at the time?" I ask as I begin eating the meal he prepared for me. He still cooks pretty damn well, but his great cooking alone won't make me forgive him.

"I was doing this during my free time. This experience actually helped me to be the information broker I am today. But besides that, I ended up getting mixed up in this dangerous situation. The yakuza got a hold of a lot of my personal information like my address and such. They kept sending me threatening e-mails and phone calls, but it wasn't until they threatened to kill my family and friends that I actually gave into their demands. So, now I'm working solely for them. If I even try to sell information to try and betray them, they'll hurt my family and friends. They'll hurt _you_."

"What?"

"Oh, believe me, they had some scouts of theirs do their research and noticed my attachment to you. That's why I had to do what I did when we first met again. I need them to believe that I hate you that way they won't target you anymore. That's why I've been sneaking around to meet up with you and that's why the yakuza were out there that night when that guy got shot. I had disobeyed them and had run off for too long and they had sent some guys after _you_, but had killed someone else on accident."

"So…"

"So, whatever I do to you from this moment on, you need to know that I really don't mean anything by it."

"So you didn't tell me about this before you disappeared because?"

"Because they told me if I told anyone that they'd kill them. They don't want word getting around that they're not playing fair by keeping the number one information broker around all to themselves."

"You give yourself too much credit." I say then pause for a moment. "So you moved with them?"

"Yeah, I mean I have my own place but I had to move to Shinjuku. I moved out a couple days after my dad and I had our argument. The yakuza told me I had a week to move out but I had decided to just get it over with. I wasn't pissed enough at my dad to allow the yakuza to murder him." Izaya says as he serves me more vegetable tempura. "I don't know if that makes you hate me less, but at least I gave it a shot. I would have called you or texted you, but I really didn't want to risk it. I texted Shinra with another cell phone I bought. I actually bought two. I texted you the very first message with the other cell phone I have at my apartment. Then, I hadn't had that one with me for the other texts I sent you, so now I'm just continuing to send you texts on this phone." Izaya says as he shows me his new cell phone.

"They're letting you stay out here this late though?"

"Most of the guys who work with me, counting Haru, are out drinking their asses off tonight. They don't know I'm even gone since they're probably really wasted by this point."

"W-who's Haru?" I ask a bit angrily as I swallow hard.

"Hmm?" He asks and then waves his hand as if it's not a big deal. "Oh, that's one of the members who keeps a close eye on me. He usually comes by to my place to check my progress of various things." He probably notices me getting a bit tense because he smiles at me and puts a hand on mine. "You don't have to worry, Shizu-chan. I love you, remember?"

"Che, I'm not worried." I say as I get my hand away from his. "Besides, all that shit that you just explained doesn't change the fact that I'm still fucking upset at you." He smirks and laughs a little.

"Hard-headed like usual, I see." Izaya says as he laughs. "Well, there's no helping it since you're such a protozoan. Nothing will get through to you anyway. Why do I even try?" He says as he picks up some of the dirty dishes and places them in the sink before picking one of them up and washes it. "After this I better get home…"

"Right, well nothing's gonna stop you." I say as I drink my water. "You can get out of here now because I really don't want you here. Just leave the dishes there." He turns and sighs.

"Difficult and hasty. That's just like you." Izaya says as he pats my shoulder as I approach him. "You haven't changed a bit, Shizu-chan. But you have changed slightly. You used to be so affectionate towards me. What happened?"

"You fucking broke my heart, that's what happened!" I say as I clench my hands into a fist. "Now get the fuck out!" He frowns suddenly and sighs before heading to the door.

"I really didn't mean to break your heart, Shizu-chan. It really broke my heart to do what I had done; I just want you to know that." I hear the door close slowly and then there's the suffocating silence that I hate more than Izaya. I put my hand on my forehead and curse myself for letting myself drown back into this. I just want him out of my life that way everything will be better. I don't want him to mess everything up like he already has. Besides, he's mixed in with a fucking gang! I don't want to be a part of that. But then again, I can't just let this slide. My heart is still saying that Izaya is in some deep shit that he never meant to get into and I should help him, but I'm not entirely sure how the hell I can do that. My heart really needs to shut the fuck up.

I sit on my couch and rub my temples in frustration. Here comes that damn headache. I could have sworn that I got rid of this nuisance yesterday. They really need to make a cure for love because I'm really getting sick of it.

* * *

A/N: **PAY NO MIND TO THIS NONSENSE BELOW IF YOU ARE ANNOYED OF POINTLESS CRAP. I'M JUST SICK AND HYPER:**

Me: Ne, Shizu-chan is lovesick, not sick of love.

Shizuo: No I am sick of love (growls)

Me: Liar :O You love your Izaya-kun

Shizuo: :( You're dead, you know that right?

Me: My soul will live on :D

Shizuo: No, I'll fucking put your soul in a damn bottle and throw it in the ocean!

Me: My soul would still technically be alive :3

Shizuo: Gah! (picks up something heavy)

Me: Please, please review! It shall save me from Shizu-chan! DX

Shizuo: Only the damn flea is allowed to call me that! No...wait...no, that's not what I meant!

Me: Hehehehe


	5. I Lied

Yay! The next chapter! I'm really loving the reviews, you guys! I had to say that because you guys are awesome and I love to hear your opinions. This is a bit of a dramatic chapter, I think. But don't get so sad because the next chapters will be better! Just hang in there :D Also, I'm really hyper because I'm getting my Shizuo and Izaya keychain today! I virtually give one to each of my reviewers and readers! (I wish I could really give one to each of you TT~TT If only magic existed, darn it!) Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. If you don't then you can yell at me to release some of your anger. I don't mind hearing complaints or whatnot. Let it all out! Back to the story!

* * *

Because of that damn headache yesterday, which is still with me this lovely morning, I decide to head to Shinra's because I ran out of pain killers a couple days ago. Besides, I want to talk to Celty about Izaya. Maybe she could give me some advice.

I head downstairs and head in the direction of Shinra's place, but before I do I come across Izaya who's talking with some kids, a blonde kid and a black haired kid. He seems to be acting really friendly with them and for some reason, it really ticks me off. Something in me just snaps and I grab the first thing I see and throw it at the louse. Luckily the thing I threw at him blindly was only a trash bin, so he gets knocked down, but I know I didn't hurt him too badly.

Izaya gets up and looks at me with a smirk.

"Ah, Shizu-chan." Izaya says with a smile as he suddenly whips out his switchblade and laughs a little. "You're always the one to pick the fight, Shizu-chan."

I look over to the two kids and glare before looking over to Izaya menacingly. Why am I so pissed off?

"I'm sick of that fucking nickname! I always have been! My name's Shizuo! Don't ever call me anything else!" This strikes a nerve in Izaya and makes the black-haired boy flinch in fear. "Fucking louse. You're dead."

"My, my Shizu-chan you really are a monster. How could you say that to your poor _Izzy-kun_." I suddenly blush fiercely. "You remember, I can tell." Why would he say that! I told him never to talk about that! I told him that it was supposed to be our secret! Fucking bastard!

"Shut the fuck up!" I say as I tear a traffic sign from the ground.

"Now, now Shizu-chan you don't have to be so embarrassed~" Izaya says as he dodges the traffic sign I had just tossed. He smiles and then runs off. I then feel the stabbing headache starting to get worse so I hold my head and try to see where that damn louse went but he's disappeared; seems like that's his specialty now.

"You two!" I say as I point to the two kids that Izaya was talking to. The two flinch and get kind of nervous as I approach them. The black-haired kid is a bit more nervous looking than the blonde kid since he's shaking more. "What did that little psycho tell you two?"

"Huh?" The black-haired kid asks as looks at his friend.

"What my friend is trying to say is that we have no idea what you're talking about." The blonde says with a smile.

"Don't play dumb!" I say as I pick the black-haired boy up.

"He just asked if we've seen you around here!" The black-haired boy says frantically. "He said he had a surprise for you!"

"Mikado!" The blonde kid says to his friend as I release him. "Izaya-kun told us not to say anything!"

"I thought he was gonna bash my brains in! What was I supposed to do!" This Mikado kid whispers to his friend.

"Where'd he run off to?" They suddenly both cooperate and point to my left (their right). I clench my hands and run off hastily and try to find the little snake. Right now I'm running on instincts. I'm still not sure why the hell I'm so mad. After the talk with Tom yesterday I feel more confused about my feelings. If I'm still in love with him I wouldn't want to break him in two, right? So, what is it that drives this passionate hatred? Could it be I'm lying to myself and substituting love for hate because it's less painful for me to do so?

When I finally spot him he's on the other side of the road. Without thinking, I head straight for him instead of looking for the oncoming traffic. Once I make it to the middle of the road I find myself feeling a rush of force hit me and send my flying, skidding on the pavement painfully until I come to an abrupt halt.

Izaya confronts me, but he's a bit too blurry to see, but I can see his smirk fade away as he mouths the words, "I'm sorry." I get up and try to grab him but he evades me and pushes his favorite switchblade to my throat.

"You should have stayed down, Shizu-chan." He says with a serious look. "They're watching us." He adds as his eyes turn to the right.

"I don't fucking care. There's no point in trying to save what we had! It's over for good! I fucking hate your guts! I want you dead!" I say loudly. He looks hurt as he puts his knife down, but then starts to laugh.

"Just what I wanted to hear, Shizu-chan because I want you to die too." He says as he cuts my chest, ripping my shirt in the process. Suddenly I see Tom approaching the scene. A lot of other people have already gathered as well, including our old schoolmate Kadota and his damn pack. That annoying girl is blurting out obscenities about me and Izaya being lovers or something, while her friends try to calm her down. Simon is watching from his shop and those two kids from earlier are watching too. I feel like I'm in some damn movie or some cliché anime.

Suddenly Izaya takes off again, finding an opening through the crowd. I follow him angrily, but then when we're finally are out of the crowd's sight I catch up to him and grab his arm. He flinches from the sudden action and then struggles to get free, but I pin him against the wall and glare at him.

"I meant what I said flea." I say angrily. "I'm done with you. From this point on we can see each other, but just know that every time we do, I'm gonna try to break you in half."

"S-Shizu-chan…" Izaya says softly. "I was trying so hard to get back so we can be together again and you're not even trying to forgive me?"

"You're involved with some shady characters and I don't want any part of that. Besides, no matter what you say, I can't forgive you. Not only did you break my heart but you didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on before this all happened. You went behind my back giving out information to gangsters! Obviously you should have known what kind of danger came with doing all that shit, right?"

"I did know, but I had to do all that for money!" He says sternly. "I was doing all that stuff for _us_." He adds as he escapes from my hold. "I wanted to make enough money so we could live together one day. Being the brute that you were (and still are), I had figured that a job was out of the question for you, so I had to find a job that paid really well to allow us to buy a nice place." He pauses. "Ah, but that doesn't make a difference. You're still mad at me no matter what I say, right?" He asks bitterly. I look at him with a surprised expression on my face. Again there's this stupid silence.

"Izaya…I…didn't…" I say nervously. So this wasn't out of some evil intentions? He was doing this because he wanted to live together? Why, why would he get himself in such a mess all for that?

I then remember something from a long time ago.

**Flashback**

"_Izaya, why the hell would you do something like that for?" I ask as I put an ice pack on his eye to make the swelling go down. Before coming back to my house to get patched up, Izaya had suddenly got in the middle of a fight that I was having with some upperclassman. Even though Izaya is quite evasive, he's still pretty weak so when the punks actually got a hold of him, he didn't last too long. I fought them all off after that out of blind fury. _

"_Ne, ne that's not something you should ask. The correct question is 'Izaya, why are you such a great boyfriend?'" He says happily as he holds the ice pack on his eye. I roll my eyes and tend to his other wounds. _

"_This is serious, flea." I say as I wrap his arm up in a sling. "You're hurt pretty bad. You should have just stayed out of it. You know I can handle myself." I tie the makeshift sling to his shoulder and position it just right so he's not in so much pain. Those guys had also managed to hurt his arm pretty bad too._

"_Ne, but Shizu-chan they were hurting you…It was out of instinct that I went to go and save you." He says as he blushes. "The least you could do is say 'thank you'." _

"_Fine, thank you, but why would you do that if you knew they could beat the shit out of you?" I ask as I look at him seriously. I understand his reason for going in to try and save me, but what lead him to act so instinctively to forget that he's too scrawny to go up against beefy guys like we fought moments before?_

"_I guess the same reason why I fell in love with a monster like you. Love makes you do stupid things." He says with a laugh. I shake my head and tell him that love makes him do _extremely_ stupid things. "Shizu-chan I know this is off topic but can you call me by my pet name~? It'll make me feel a lot better if you could do that for me." _

"_What 'flea'?" I ask with a smirk, knowing full well that isn't the pet name he means. He looks at me with an annoyed expression and elbows me with his elbow (the one not in a sling). _

"_No, the _other_ one, Shizu-chan." He begs as he nuzzles his head under my chin. Damn, I love it when he does this._

"_Fine, fine, fine…Izzy-kun." I say before kissing his forehead. "You're too needy, you know that?" _

"_Yeah, but Shizu-chan likes me that way because you're the same way right?"_

"_Shut up, flea." _

I escape from my thoughts and notice that the switchblade he's carrying suddenly comes into my view, right below my chin.

"As you said, the next time we see each other we'll be enemies." He says before he turns around and leaves. There's a pain in my chest that arises out of nowhere after he leaves. I hadn't even given it another thought about his reasoning for doing the shit he did. I kind of feel like an ass now. I may not be mad at him anymore (the feeling kind of dissolved once he said it was all for us), but now I'm just mad, possibly at myself, for being such an ass to him.

My fist then acts out of its own accord and comes in contact with the wall to the right of me, making a crater in it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

I decide not to go to Shinra's after all since I'm fucking way too pissed off right now and I rather not make a mess of his place.

After a while of violent meditation, I find my way back to the front of Russian Sushi to meet up with Tom. Said man is standing there kind of casually despite what had just occurred moments before. When I approach him he just states out the list of people we have to collect money from and leaves it at that before we head out. I don't think he wanted to be too nosey so he didn't ask me about Izaya during our walks to the clients' places.

After work I head straight home after saying goodbye to Tom. It's such a boring life sometimes when you have no one to sulk and complain with—and to bicker with. I'm about to head upstairs to my apartment when I hear someone behind me. I turn around and see some guys hiding in a dark alley. They're whispering to each other when I approach them, cracking my knuckles menacingly.

"What are you two punks doing here?" I ask as one of them smirks.

"Just the man we wanted to see." The heftier of the two says with a smile.

"Who sent you?" I ask angrily.

"You should already know." The man says with a laugh. "You know, it must really suck to know that the man you once loved left and betrayed you." Betrayed me?

"Yeah, betrayed you." The other man repeats.

"What the fuck are you guys saying? Are you the guys keeping Izaya hostage?"

"Who said anything about keeping him hostage? He _wants_ to be with us; he especially likes to be around Haru." Haru? Izaya told me he was just one of the members of the yakuza and that's it. He wouldn't have lied? Right?

I pick the man up by the collar and glare at him. "What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"Kind of sad really. You were his lover way back when and you never had sex with him. Now he's with us and he's having sex with Haru without even being lovers with him. Kind of ironic don't you think?" The man says with a laugh. I push him to the wall and I'm about to fucking smash his face in when he makes a kind of signal with his hands and suddenly everything turns black after I hear a gunshot. Then I hear footsteps running off in the distance and then nothing.

The next thing I know, I'm at Shinra's, bandages and all. I wake up with no recollection of how I got here, but the memory of what the men said still lingers in my mind. How could he do this to me? How could he fucking lie to me? If I ever see him again I'm gonna…

"Shizu-chan, you're awake." Izaya says as he approaches me carefully. I'm too weak to even curse him out right now. "I'm sorry Shizu-chan if I would have known that they would do that I would have never left you alone. They just did it to see if it was true…if it was true that you really hated me. I hope you didn't cave in."

"You fucking liar."

"What?"

"You fucking lied to me!" I say angrily even though it hurts to talk.

"Shizu-chan, I don't know what you're talking about." He says simply. "I haven't lied to you."

"You said that you still loved me." I say more calmly. "You fucking whore!"

"What?" He asks with surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"You slept with that Haru guy!"

"What? Is that what they told you?" He asks as he shakes his head. "_They're_ the liars. I never slept with anyone. I'm still a virgin. Why would you believe _them_ and not _me_?"

"Because you lost my trust a long time ago. You can't expect me to trust you the same way, like before." I say angrily.

"Look, I don't know what exactly they told you, but I still a virgin whether you believe me or not." Izaya says as he looks at the only window in the room. "It's just like you to believe anyone on the street. You're still a protozoan."

"And you're still a fucking louse." I say as I try to relax. "I thought you said the next time we see each other, we're enemies."

"I had to say that since they were still watching." Izaya says with a sigh. "You know I'd never leave you out in the streets to die. You'd probably leave me to die though." He says bitterly. That seemed to tug at my heartstrings as I remembered the old Izaya crawling into my lap during lunch, kissing my cheek whenever he pleased, texting me just to say that he loved me during class. It wasn't like I was heartless and I have to admit that somewhere deep inside me still has feelings for him—the stupid part inside me.

"That…that's not true…" I say as I look at him looking out towards the city through the opened window. His black hair is flowing in the wind, the same black hair I loved running my fingers through; that soft black hair that I loved to feel tickling my chin and neck when he nuzzled against me. "I didn't mean what I said earlier…I was just mad…"

"You're always mad." He says with a laugh. "I just never thought you'd be _that_ mad at me." He says without looking at me. "I've saved it for you, Shizu-chan." He says vaguely.

"What?"

"I've saved my first time for you, like I promised." Izaya says with a smile as he still looks out towards the city. "You never seem to keep _your_ promises, but I do." He pauses and sighs. "You promised you'd always love me and you lied. _I_ should be the one upset at _you_. I know what I did was horrible, but I always kept my promises. I kept my promise to always love you and to save my first time for you."

"Izaya…" I really am left with nothing to say. How could I say anything after that?

"Shinra wants you to rest since you got shot pretty badly at your side. I hope you feel better." Izaya says as he heads towards the door. He puts his hand on the doorknob, but doesn't open it yet.

"Izaya, wait…I…" He keeps his hand on the doorknob as he turns his head towards me and sighs.

"Don't hesitate to text me sometime. It makes me happy when you answer my texts even if you're just angrily cursing me out." He says with a smile before heading out. Not only is the pain at my side killing me, but the stabbing in my heart is too. Why did he have to say all that? Now I'm fucking guilty.

"Ah, Shizuo you're awake. Good, good." Shinra says happily as he enters the room. "You gave us quite a scare. I hadn't thought that Izaya would come out of hiding and bring you here, but it was really quite kind of him."

"He brought me all the way from the outside of my apartment to over here to your place?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah, he was basically dragging you, though. I told him to start doing some weight lifting or something to build muscle, but you know how he is about altering his body even if it's for something good." Shinra says as he checks the machine's I'm hooked up to. "Turns out you're doing much better than when you first came in. You're pretty resilient though, so I'm not too surprised."

"Shinra…you know how I said that I'd never fall back in love with Izaya?" Shinra flinches out of surprise from the lack of Izaya's usual nickname but nods to answer my question.

"Yeah, I remember you saying something like that." Shinra says nervously, not really sure where this is headed.

"Well…I lied…" I say with a sigh.

* * *

A/N: Well, duh! Of course you lied Shizu-chan. You freaking love Izaya XD Anyway, I hope this wasn't too depressing. Next couple chapters are gonna be better, not too sad I hope. Heartwarming, I would say. Anyway, I love reviews and don't mind if they're ones which yells at me for making mistakes or whatever because I make a lot of them sometimes. Bye bye until next chapter!


	6. Accepting Love

Next chapter! This is was a fun chapter to write too! It will have a sad part, so beware. I don't know if this is going too fast or just right. Some of the events seem to be going a bit fast but if you guys don't mind that then I guess it's alright :3 Anyway, back to the story.

* * *

It took about three days for me to recover from the gunshot wound and all those three days I hadn't seen Izaya at all. He hadn't even texted me during that time either. I was released to go home on Monday in the afternoon and I told Tom that Shinra still wanted me to take a few days off so I could rest, so I'm getting back to work on Thursday morning. Celty gladly drives me home on her motorcycle, all the while I can't help but notice the silence. I just hear the motor of the motorcycle running and roaring all the way. I'm not ready to continue on living in that damn silence; of hearing no words being said to me while at home. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want that damn flea back. I'm even starting to miss his damn nagging, his stupid smirk, his soft hair, and his smooth, pale skin…Gah! I'm becoming a fucking pervert…

"Thanks for the ride Celty." I say as I get off and hand her back the spare helmet she lent me.

[You gonna be okay? You look pretty down.] Celty shows me the PDA and waits for my answer.

"I'll be fine…But could you do something for me?" I ask as I grab my pack of cigarettes and take out a cigarette and put it between my lips before lighting it.

[What is it?]

"If you see Izaya…could you tell him that I want to talk to him?" I ask nervously.

[No problem. Shinra told me what you had said. I think taking the first step in accepting those feelings is better for you. Besides, Izaya talked to me and I can tell his feelings are sincere.]

"W-what…what did he tell you?" I ask as I feel a blush creep over my cheeks.

[Ah, well he was explaining why he left and whatnot. But he seemed pretty depressed when he said that you were still mad at him even though he apologized. He also said that he's gonna try to get out of the jam that he's gotten himself in, but he doesn't know how yet.]

"I hope he doesn't get himself in any more trouble, but then again, it's Izaya so I can already guess that he's gonna piss a lot of people off." I say as look for my keys in my pocket.

[You still love him, don't you?] I scowl at the message but then sigh before nodding.

"I can't believe that I loved him in the first place…and even after all the shit he's made me go through…I still love that fucking flea." I say as I throw my cigarette to the ground and crush it. "Thanks for everything, Celty."

[No problem. I don't really want to say anything cliché, so I'll just say that you know what you're doing.] Celty drives off after that, leaving me to go up to my empty apartment. I head upstairs and open my door to my apartment. Everything's as I left it despite that flea knowing how to get in. I check around to see if he's around, but I come up disappointed. I sit down on my couch and turn on my TV. I don't really watch TV, but I suppose it'll calm my nerves. I rub my temples as I check the news.

**Flashback**

"_Wouldn't it be great if Shizu-chan and I got married and started living together? We'd do this kind of stuff all the time." Izaya says as I help him cut vegetables for dinner. "And we'd be able to be all alone in our own place." He says as he puts his head on my shoulder._

"_Yeah right; how are we supposed to get that kind of money?" I say as I put the vegetables in the stew pot._

"_I'll find a way." Izaya says happily. "It's one of my dreams to live together with Shizu-chan after we get married that is." He says as he pokes my ribs._

"_I know, I know." I say as I kiss his forehead. "Maybe one day when you stop being an annoying prick." He glares at me and I laugh a little before I continue. "And when I can actually afford a ring."_

"_Shizu-chan is still a tease." Izaya says as he cuddles closer to me. He smirks and grabs a handful of cake mix, which he was stirring and throws it in my face. He laughs as I start fuming at him. "With that anger and heat you're emitting you could easily bake that mix right up." I smile and grab a handful of the cake mix too, but Izaya had already seen this coming so he runs away from me. I chase after him with the filled mixing bowl in my hand and start throwing the mix at him, but miss. "You're making a mess Shizu-chan~!" _

"_I don't care! You're gonna clean it all up since it's your fault for starting this." I say as I finally grab hold of his waist with messy fingers. I spin him around and spill the mix over his head and laugh as he shakes his hair. He suddenly smiles and tackles me and nuzzles his messy hair under my chin, which feels horribly uncomfortable. Regardless of how nasty the stuff feels, we're still laughing like idiots as we just lie on the floor. _

_Suddenly the door opens and Kasuka comes in with a bag of groceries. He dully looks at the mess and then looks at me and Izaya on the floor. I push Izaya off of me and nervously try to explain, but Kasuka just blinks and heads over to the kitchen to put the groceries on the table. Then he acts as if he's seen nothing and heads up to his room. Izaya gets up and looks at me questioningly. _

"_You two have fun; don't mind me!" He says after he closes the door to his room. I smack my forehead in embarrassment while Izaya just laughs and swings his arms around my neck, enjoying the expression on my face. _

I can't believe I was such a dork, but as Izaya told me, love makes you do stupid things.

Suddenly my phone rings and when I bring it out I find that Izaya just messaged me. I hastily open my phone and read the message.

_Are you feeling better?_

_**Yeah, much better…thanks for asking.**_

_Ah, you're usual anger banter seems to be missing. You don't seem to be mad at me anymore. Or am I mistaken?_

_**I'm…I'm not mad at you…**_

_Well that's good. I've been really busy lately and didn't have time to visit you again, but I have time off tonight since everyone's going out drinking. Want to meet up?_

_**Can you really sneak by them tonight?**_

_Yeah, I really want to see you again, if that's okay…_

_**It's alright with me. I want to talk to you anyway, face to face.**_

_Alright, we can meet up at the front of Russian Sushi tonight at 7:30. Is that okay with you?_

_**Yeah, that's okay with me. See you there, then. **_

_Bye._

This time around there was an absence of his incessant teasing and romantic talk. At what point did I start liking him sweet talking to me?

After receiving the text, I decide to rest a little bit since its only 3:30. I take off my shirt since it's kind of hot inside since its spring. I head over to my where my washing machine and dryer are and find the basket of my dirty clothes are gone. I look at the empty basket and find a note in familiar handwriting.

_Ne, ne Shizu-chan really should learn how to keep his house clean. In case you get all paranoid about your missing clothes, I washed them and dried them for you. I also put them in the appropriate drawers; although you didn't have any particular order in which you place your clothes in your drawers and your closet. Sooooo, I decided to organize everything, in case you get paranoid about everything being so suspiciously neat. If you're the type of person who notices something missing, I should tell you now that you might be missing those panda boxers…because I took them for safe keeping~_

_Love, Izaya Orihara_

I crumple the piece of paper and blush as I go to my room and check my drawers and closet. Yeah, everything's organized as if it was arranged by some neat freak (which I am certainly not, so the culprit could only be Izaya). I smack my forehead as I notice that my closet is arranged by color and my drawers are arranged by order of which they are put on and color, such as boxers are on the left (darkest colors are on the bottom and lighter colors are on top), then comes the shorts (same color order), and then pants (same color order). I usually just wear my bartender outfit, but I have different clothes; I just don't wear them too often.

I'm kind of disturbed that he was touching all my stuff, but it was nice of him nevertheless. He was always the one to arrange anything he got his hands on. I didn't like it when he did it with my stuff, but now I'm not so pissed off at it.

"Damn flea…" I say under my breath as I close my closet. I then flinch as I think of something. I quickly head over to my refrigerator and open it hastily. Everything is organized here too. All of the drinks are on the top shelf; the milk is in the back since it's the biggest. Leftover stuff is on the bottom shelf. Unopened foods are on the middle shelf. Condiments are on the door. The freezer is the same; very organized with larger stuff in the back and the smaller stuff in the front. I pound my head to the fridge after closing it all up and then feel my forehead as I notice a paper stuck on it.

_Heh, I also organized your fridge. Sorry, I really couldn't help myself. It's actually Shizu-chan's fault for being so messy in all aspects. By the way, make sure you throw out the milk container with the red mark on the front; it's expired. Don't want you getting sick~_

_Love, Izaya Orihara_

I then walk over tiredly to my book shelf and movie shelf I have in my living room and notice another note. I sigh and pick it up.

_Yeah…you probably can already guess that I organized your shelves too. I put them in alphabetical order. If Shizu-chan doesn't know what that means (since you're such a protozoan) that means that the movies and books starting with A are first and the ones starting with Z are last. Okay? Good. By the way, you really should buy better movies. Those stink~_

_Love Izaya Orihara (who else would it be?)_

He's everywhere, not just in my thoughts. His smell is lingering around here too. I bet while I wasn't here, he was stinking up my bed with his smell. I hope he didn't organize anything else. But then again, this Izaya I'm talking about. I'm pretty sure my bathroom is organized as well.

I'm done searching and reading notes. His handwriting makes me nostalgic and his scent is still on the paper. Did he rub it on his body or something? No…I shouldn't even be _thinking_ that…

"_I've saved my first time for you, like I promised."_

God, if only he was here now…Deep down I supposed I was saving my first time for him too, unbeknownst to me. I just can't help but long for him. I can't deny it anymore. I'm still in love with him even after all this time…I sound like I'm in some romantic drama. Didn't I see this kind of thing in a movie once? The girl gets dumped by the guy, the guy then wants her back, the girl kind of still likes him but she's falling in love with someone else…Wait what?

I guess it's true that people get tired of waiting, but Izaya's been waiting for six years fucking years. He wouldn't give up after all this time. And today I think I'm gonna tell him; even my brain tells me that doing so will cause me a lot of trouble. My heart is just screaming at me, telling me that it's in pain because I won't listen to it and that I should just take Izaya back.

Our relationship won't be exactly the same since we're older now, but I'm sure Izaya still has his cute side that I like so much. Not saying I don't like his other sides, but they're just annoyingly tolerable. And his cute side is adorably addicting. But I guess a part of me (again, the stupid part) actually likes all sides of him because if I didn't it wouldn't be love (at least in my opinion). I miss his stupid smirk that gets me pissed off because it's kind of sexy. I miss the tricks he pulls on me because they're sort of entertaining. I even miss when we bicker because it's always followed by apologies and affectionate actions.

I head over to my kitchen again and heat up some ramen and then sit over at the couch to watch some more TV. It's all a bunch of boring stuff on, but I don't have anything else to do until 7:30. I could take a shower since I'm meeting up with Izaya. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

"_Why don't we shower together, eh Shizu-chan?" _

To be honest, he never said that, but I don't think he'd miss the opportunity to if given the chance. Also, I've already accepted that I'm a pervert. I mean, if I could accept the fact that I'm in love with Izaya, then I should be able to accept the fact that I'm a pervert.

I head into the shower after getting all my necessities and enjoy the warm water. As I scrub the shampoo in my hair I remember that Izaya usually smelled like peaches after he showered which was always pleasant to take in whenever he was near me (which was obviously all the time). Whenever he would nuzzle his head under my chin, the peach aroma always calmed me down and intoxicated me. He didn't (and still doesn't) like sweets, but he used to smell sweet—last I checked he still smells sweet—probably to drive me crazy.

I continue washing myself and then get out and notice that my assumption was right about Izaya organizing my bathroom. All the stuff in the sink cabinets are neat and arranged in a certain order. The sink is cleaned, the mirror wiped, even the toilet is sparkly. I can't believe I just said the word "sparkly" in my head. I'm becoming not only a pervert but a pansy. I swear I'm living in a nightmare.

After that nice shower I decide to go to the store. I know Shinra told me to relax, but I really can't sit still. I'm really stubborn and active. That's the only two excuses I really have, but that doesn't matter since they're pretty damn good answers.

The streets of Ikebukuro are pretty crowded during the evening (about four thirty), but that doesn't stop me from getting by. Everyone knows me as the strongest man in Ikebukuro, a title which I rather not have but since I do have it I don't completely dislike it. I rather not have this super human strength, but sometimes you're stuck with things you really don't like or want—like in-laws or something (I doubt that I'll like Izaya's father if Izaya and I do get married). Fortunately this title makes it so most people stay away from—well—most sane people stay away from me. Others like to swarm around me so they can pick a fight. I don't like violence though.

"Ah, hi Shizuo." I hear a familiar voice says behind me. I turn around and see myself face to face with my old schoolmate, Kyohei Kadota. "Long time, no see."

"Right…" I say awkwardly. I was never really close with Kadota, but we knew each other by name and occasionally said hi to one another whenever we encountered each other in the halls when we were in school.

"Ah! Shizuo-kun, Kadota told me how you and Izaya were once a couple!" This crazy girl again. Mental note: kill Kadota later. "Is this really true?" This girl must be one of those kinds of people that feed off the lives of other's because I feel physically and mentally drained already.

"Kadota." I say with a glare.

"She pried it out of me…" Kadota says weakly. "It's your fault for stirring her curiosity in the first place. The stuff you said a couple days ago when you were out here with Izaya really caught her interest. So, she remembered I went to school with you guys and asked about it. Trust me; she has ways to make someone talk…"

"'There's no point in trying to save what we had! It's over for good!'" The girl tries to mimic my deep voice, but doesn't even come close. "Kya, you were so harsh with your poor uke, Shizuo-kun."

"What are you talking about?" I ask furiously. I'm really annoyed by her babbling since I really don't know what she's yapping about. I swear that what I'm listening to is in a different language. It's like I'm surrounded by a bunch of lunatics. First Izaya, now this girl? I _am_ living in a nightmare.

"Oh, was I wrong? Is Shizuo-kun the uke? Kya! A tough guy like you letting Izaya top is amazing! Unless, you don't let him and he forces you!"

"Erika, you're scaring him." Kadota says as he smacks his own forehead.

"I can just imagine what you guys used to be like as kids. Nowadays you must be living together secretly, am I right?" This girl, Erika apparently, continues to babble on about stuff I don't even understand, and quite frankly I don't want to understand. She's blushing like crazy which is scaring me.

"Look, I don't have time for this."

"Hey, Shizuo." Kadota stops me and gets to my side. "We heard that Izaya is in some deep trouble with the yakuza. Is that true?"

"Word travels around fast…who told you that?"

"Some guy off the street. He kept talking about how the famous Izaya Orihara was working with the yakuza. Ever heard of Haru Tachibana?"

"Yeah…Izaya told me he works with him."

"Well, this guy told us that Haru is known to be really violent; said that he was known to go freaking crazy if someone betrays the yakuza. Izaya isn't in trouble with that guy is he? He's okay, right?"

"I…I don't know…we haven't really met up for a while, but he said that he'll be able to meet up with me tonight, so I'll ask him then."

"Kya! You guys are meeting _tonight_?" Erika asks loudly as I look into her crazed eyes; I swear that I can see stars in them. "Ne, ne it must be a date, am I right?" Suddenly the two other guys in the group drag Erika away from me (thank god) while covering her mouth. She looks like some victim being kidnapped, to tell you the truth. She's struggling to get loose but they manage to shove her into the van, sort of…She kind of holds onto the sides of the door so they have to kind of push her in. All the while she's still asking me weird questions.

I shake my head in disbelief as they finally get her in the damn van. Kadota says that he wishes me luck and I tell him that I'll let him know if something is going on with Izaya.

After that strange encounter, I head to the flower store. I know its cliché and not like me to be all fucking romantic, but I kind of feel bad for accusing Izaya for sleeping with some guy. I really went out of line, so this is _just_ an "I'm sorry" gift, nothing more. I look around and suddenly feel completely out of place in this small store. The store owner comes out of the back room and smiles at me.

"Can I help you with something?" She says with a kind of flirty tone. I glare at the way she's acting towards me, but decide to ignore her.

"I'm just getting some roses…for my lover…" I say hesitantly. Of course I only said that because I wanted this woman off my back, but when I said it, I felt kind of happy. I haven't used that word in such a long time and it makes me kind of happy that I might be able to use it again.

"Oh…Well…come right this way. What kind of roses would you like?" She asks awkwardly. I figure she's saying in her head 'Figures; all the good men are either taken or gay.' If Izaya and I were officially back together we'd be both. Damn it, now _I'm_ beginning to notice stupid crap. That damn flea is rubbing off on me. Great…my perverted mind thought of something dirty again after I just said that…

"Red rose are fine." I say simply. The flea always mentioned to me that he loved roses because they were beautiful but dangerous, like him. He said that, not me. He also said that roses were the symbol of love or something; I thought that was just cliché.

"So, is this for your anniversary?" She asks as I hand her the money and wait for her to give my receipt and my flowers.

"No, this is an apology gift." I say simply as I take the flowers.

"Ah, well I hope she forgives you." She says with a smile. Something makes me want to correct her.

"Yeah…I hope he forgives me, too." I don't know what made me say that, but I'm hoping that she didn't hear me. I head out and decide to get some other gifts out of impulse such as chocolates and an apology card.

After a couple hours of browsing in stores to calm my nerves, I finally look at the time and see that it's almost 7:30 so I head off to Russian Sushi with all the romantic shit in my hands. I'm sure I look fucking ridiculous. Passing people glance at me and try to see if I'm really _the_ Shizuo Heiwajima or not. When they do realize it's me gossiping ensues. I just ignore them and wait for Izaya to arrive.

I look at my watch and notice that it just turned 7:30. It's not late. Most people would worry if their date was like twenty minutes late or something, but I'm worried right now because Izaya is usually early to all his appointments. I check my phone and wonder if I missed a message by him, but nothing shows up. I look around and try to spot him, but he's nowhere to be found. I then head inside Russian Sushi and tell Simon to take care of my gifts and that I'll be back in a little while.

I head off and try to find Izaya, but I don't know where he'd be. I run into people as I hastily make it down the streets of Ikebukuro in panic. Did something really happen to him? Is it my fault? Why didn't he tell me something was wrong? Damn it, I should have known.

"You know, you shouldn't have screwed us over like that." I hear a guy say from an alley nearby.

"I didn't do anything. I just made a mistake." That's Izaya's voice. My heartbeat goes crazy once I realize it's Izaya. I look where the voice is coming from and notice that Izaya is on the ground and is pretty beat up.

"You've been making mistakes this whole fucking week. I know what you're up to, you little ass." The guy says angrily. As he pulls Izaya by his hair. I clench my hands into fists. My head is screaming at me, telling me to move in because he's _touching_ him, he's _hurting_ him, but I can't seem to make my legs move. "You're planning to escape, right? You signed a contract with us. You're not going anywhere. You can pretend like you're losing your touch, but we know it's all an act. You've been trying to find a way out since you got yourself in this mess."

"It's only reasonable. I've done enough for you assholes. I've repaid my debt."

"No, no you haven't. You don't get it. You belong to us now. And you disobeyed us." The guy smirks and pins Izaya against the wall. "You know we picked up some very interesting dirt on you too. You're not the only one who can dig up info. We heard you're still a virgin."

"That's none of your fucking business."

"So it's true? It must also be true that you're saving it for someone, right? How pathetic." The guy says with a laugh. "But that gives us the perfect idea for your punishment." He says as he suddenly grabs his pistol and has pressed up against Izaya's temple as his other hand goes to Izaya's belt and undoes it before undoing the buttons on his pants.

I grit my teeth and instinctively grab a traffic sign and step into the alley.

"Shizu-chan…?" Izaya says as he tries to escape the guy's hold.

"Don't fucking touch him!" I say as the guy turns his head and I swing the sign at him. A direct hit.

The other guys next to Izaya quickly pull out their guns shakily as they notice who it is they're dealing with. The guy on the ground gets up and holds his head in pain.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Shoot him already!" I lunge forward before anyone of them can react and grab one of the guys and toss him into his buddies. I then grab the garbage bin next to me and throw it at them. They quickly scatter and run away as I pick up another garbage bin. A couple of other guys suddenly arrive in cars and try to attack me with bats and various other weapons, but I grab hold of another traffic sign and hold it horizontally and charge forward at them to push most of them against the shop on the other side of the road.

I punch some guy in the face and see him fly off before I grab a hold of two other guys and crash them into each other. I keep taking down guy after guy after guy for a while until they suddenly spread out as if by escaping some radius of danger, but it's not me they're trying to escape it must be something else. I take this moment to try to catch my breath, but then I hear a gun cock.

"Shizu-chan!" I hear Izaya's voice yell out as I suddenly notice the gun aimed right at me. The guy who had pinned Izaya is holding the pistol and suddenly fires it. I then feel myself being pushed out of the way and then see blood and before I know it I look over to my side and find Izaya lying there. Suddenly everyting seems to be happening in slow motion. Police sirens start howling in my ears, but then everything turns silent even though the yakuza members are running off and driving off in cars.

The gun shot, the blood, Izaya's lifeless body lying in front of me. At first I don't know what had just happened, but then I put things together and I couldn't believe it. He did that for me…

"_Love makes you do stupid things."_ You told me that and yet it's still hard to believe you'd go this far as to die for me. No, you're not gonna die! I won't let that happen!

"Izaya…" I say as I put a hand on his head and then quickly pull my hand away as I feel the warm blood on my fingers. I bring him into my lap and try to wake him up. "Izaya, can you hear me?"

"Shizu-chan…" He says as he opens his eyes.

"Don't worry…I'm gonna call Shinra right away…" I say as I dig out my phone from my pocket and dial Shinra's phone number. "Pick up, damn it!" I say as I hold the phone against my ear. The police sirens are getting closer. Suddenly, as if the world was getting me back for me an asshole to Izaya, it starts to rain.

"Shizuo?" Shinra picks up finally. "What's going on?" He asks worriedly.

"Izaya got shot…" I say quickly. "I'm taking him to your place."

"He got shot? Ah, alright, I'll get everything ready for him. Please hurry." Luckily we're close by to Shinra's place so it won't take long. I look down at Izaya and I'm glad to see that he's looking back at me.

"Shizu-chan…you're not still…mad at me…?"

"No…I'm not mad…" I say as I pick him up. I start sprinting to Shinra's as I try to keep Izaya awake. "Izaya, you're gonna be okay. I promise."

"Shizu-chan…don't make promises...because you…you never keep them." Izaya says with a laugh. "You're still…a protozoan…you know that?"

"Yeah, I'm an idiot…You've always been right…I really fucked up." I say as I kick down the door to the apartment building. "I had the chance to get you back…and I didn't take it at the very beginning…I really fucked up…" I say as knock on Shinra's door like a madman. Celty and Shinra were already expecting me so they quickly let me in and told me to put Izaya on the bed where Shinra was going to patch him up.

I don't want to lose him. I want to keep this promise and a thousand other promises for him. I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm falling, like death is upon me because I'm losing something vital in my life. I'm worried about him because he's not just that damn pest I wanted to get rid of when we were kids. He became something more in my life. He became a part of my life and I don't want to give that part up because that's the good part.

For once in my life I'm not upset at anyone. Right now I'm just mad at myself for being an idiot.

* * *

A/N: TT~TT OMG Izaya is hurt! What will happen next? (you guys probably already know :D). Please, please review :) It makes me super happy.


	7. Rabbit's Feet

Next chapter! Yay! I'm kind of almost done with this story, probably two more chapters. I'm not sure yet. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it! I'm going to the doctor all this week, so if I don't update at the usual times that I do then I'm really sorry! And sorry if they're a lot of mistakes or what not I've been pretty sick lately.

* * *

Suffocating…I'm suffocating from this stupid silence again. It's been a couple hours now and I can't sit still. I keep pacing and I'm sure it's annoying Celty by now. She's calmly sitting on the couch, but I know in her mind (wherever that may be) is on Izaya right now. She wants to look less worried for me, but I can tell by the way she's not making too many movements that she's really worried.

[Relax Shizuo. It'll be okay. Izaya's strong. He'll pull through.]

"And what if he does? What am I gonna do?" I say loudly then hold my head in frustration. "…I can't picture myself without him…He's all I have left…"

[What do you mean?]

"Don't take it the wrong way, but everything else in my life can't compare to Izaya. I appreciate it whenever you and Shinra help me and hang around me. All the friends I do have are great, but they're just friends…Izaya and I have a special bond that doesn't have any of those boundaries that friends have. I can be intimate with him because I'm already _that_ comfortable around him…And that's what lovers do…"

[Are you saying what I think you're saying?]

"Yeah…I want to get back together with him. I don't know when I became this fucking stupid…"

[You're not stupid, Shizuo. Love can be all kinds of things but, in the end, there's something sacred or rewarding with falling in love even if things don't turn out well. Just experiencing the feeling is a prize in itself.]

"I thought you said you didn't want to say anything cliché." I say with an annoyed expression.

[I never said that; it must have been a typo.] I glare at her and sigh.

"You and Shinra must be doing well otherwise you wouldn't say all that romantic crap."

[It isn't crap, Shizuo. It's beautiful and amazing.]

"And it makes you freaking bipolar." I say simply. "I'm not saying I don't want to be in love, but it just be less troublesome if I wasn't in love to begin with…I just feel pain all the time…I'm in pain right now thinking I might lose him."

Suddenly Shinra emerges from the lab room with a grin plastered on his face which irritates me slightly considering the serious situation. I walk over to him and then look over to the room where I had put Izaya with the utmost care. I remember that before I left the room a couple hours earlier I had kissed his hand. I don't know where he got those rings and what significance they carry, but I really want to see him wearing another kind of ring.

"Is he alright?"

"Yeah, he's doing much better. Turns out the bullet didn't penetrate through and get stuck somewhere in his head. It barely nicked him, but he's still unconscious since he hit the ground pretty bad; that's why there was far more blood loss."

"He hit his head too?"

"Yes, apparently when he fell, but don't worry, I don't think he suffered any head trauma and I'm pretty sure he'll be able to tell us his name when he wakes up." Shinra says as he sighs and sits on the couch next to Celty. I look to the door and clench my fists nervously. "You can go in and see him. I bet he really wants the first person he sees to be you." Shinra teases with a short chuckle. I look over to him and throw him a glare. I hesitate for a moment and then enter the room slowly.

"Izaya…" I say as I approach him carefully. He's still unconscious, but he looks so peaceful as if he were just sleeping. I pull up a chair and listen to the beeping of the monitor that's recording his heart beats. I fucking hate the machine. I clench my fists in an attempt to refrain myself from smashing it to pieces. It's not the beeping that annoys me (though it kind of does), it's the unnatural, inhuman noise it's making, the sound that tries to mimic the sound of the human heart. I rather listen to the actual thing.

When Izaya used to sit in my lap he used to like to listen to my heartbeat. I always told him it was creepy, but he insisted it was soothing to his ears.

"_In my opinion, it's romantic to listen to your lover's heartbeat. It makes me happy when I hear that it's beating faster because I'm with you."_

He always said that. He liked to make me blush like a fucking dork. Before Izaya and I were together, I don't remember a time when I was _that_ weak in the knees. After we got together, everything was like spring was always in the air and I was always blushing because I was still young and foolish.

But right now, here I am, sitting next to my first love. Even if he always made me act like a complete dork when I was around him, I don't think that I minded all that much. It made me happy. It still makes me happy when I'm around him.

Damn, I just realized that it's been quite a long time since I've had a smoke. How could I forget that habit? I hadn't even noticed the withdrawal symptoms, if I even went through them. I really haven't noticed much since Izaya came back.

I grab hold of his hand and rub his knuckles with my thumb. I lower my head and kiss his hand again, this time I keep his hand close to my lips and then move it to my cheek to feel his temperature. His hands are warm at least. It comforts me to know that his body is in a state of balance as usual. I then move my hand over to his forehead and remove strands of his black hair out of his face. His hair is just as soft as I remember it being whenever I ran my fingers through it.

I stand up and lean over him carefully and cup his cheek in my hand. My thumb rubs his cheek slowly as I look at his peaceful face. I then lower my head and kiss his lips softly. The sensation sparks forgotten feelings in me that I tried to bury out of anger after he had left. His lips are so soft and warm, bringing me back to a time when we were just kids; Izaya being the more curious one to plant a kiss on my lips. My first kiss, my first crush, my first love…Izaya's been all of those.

I clench my hands in frustration as I blame myself for what has happened. If I just accepted my feelings at the beginning, this never would have happened.

Suddenly I get a text from some unknown number.

_Shizuo Heiwajima, you've got some guts. I can tell you that. Let's not beat around the bush, how about you just hand over our little ace in the hole, eh?_

I grit my teeth and start typing my response in anger.

_**Like hell I would do that! Fuck off!**_

_Well, you can't keep him forever. He'll have to come crawling back. He knows he has a contract with us and he knows what we're capable of. We'll be waiting for Izaya. If he's not in our office by midnight tonight they're gonna be consequences._

I close my phone and try to think of way to get Izaya out of this mess. I don't want to lose him and I'm positive that if I allow for Izaya to escape and go back, they're definitely going to punish him. They're probably gonna continue with what they were going to do when they had him surrounded in that alley hours ago. I'm not gonna let that happen. Those guys are fucking dead.

Before leaving the room, I kiss Izaya's lips once more to savor his taste. It's intoxicating my senses, but if and when he wakes up, I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how weak he makes me. I guess that's what I've always wanted though, to have all my strength disappear and just be human. I didn't know being human meant being this stupid, crazy, and love struck. Maybe being a monster wasn't too bad. Nah, I'm good like this. Just like this because it's fucking amazing the way I'm feeling right now.

I leave the room after taking one last look at Izaya's peaceful face in a deep sleep. I head over to the door to leave Shinra's house, but Celty stops me.

[Where are you going?] Her PDA reads.

"I'm gonna finish this once and for all. I'm not gonna give them Izaya, not now, not ever. I almost lost him; I'm not letting them take him away." I say sternly as I put my hand on the doorknob.

"Shizuo, please don't do anything dangerous…or stupid…" Shinra says worriedly.

"I'd promise that I won't, but Izaya told me not to make promises I can't keep." I say before leaving calmly.

Izaya once told me I have animalistic instincts. I suppose he was right since after I headed to Shinjuku I just followed the scent that clung onto Izaya and found the yakuza's hiding place pretty easily. I could smell the stench of rats.

When I enter the abandon-looking building, by smashing the door down, I find a bunch of yakuza assholes waiting for me with pistols ready to fire. The guy in the middle, sitting at the desk looks at me with a grin. He's wearing a jacket like Izaya's except for the fur trim. He's the same guy that tried to rape Izaya in the alley hours before.

"What do we have here? I don't see our precious ace in the hole anywhere. What did I tell you, Heiwajima?"

"Shut the fuck up! I'm gonna settle this. What's it gonna take to break that fucking contract?" I ask loudly. The sight of this guy just pisses me off so much. I want to bash his head against the wall.

"Why should it even matter to you? Don't you hate him for what he did to you?" He asks with a laugh. "Besides, he didn't keep his little promise he made to you. You really don't know what he's done during these past six years."

"You're not gonna fool me with that crap again. I trust Izaya." I say sternly. This makes the leader scowl.

"Are you telling me that you're in love with him?" He starts laughing along with the other guys around. "The strongest man of Ikebukuro, a fag?" He looks at me seriously and smiles. "I'm right." It wasn't a question, but my silence gave him an answer anyway.

"Break the contract or I break your fucking neck." I say as I crack my knuckles. He just continues to be cocky and laughs evilly.

"Izaya was right. You can't be reasoned with. You won't allow anyone to suggest their own rules or terms. It always has to go your way or else violence ensues." The guy says with a smirk. "But if that does happen, we know we can handle you if we say…Oh, we know where you're brother and friends are this very minute, you wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them now do you?"

Something in me snapped because after I heard that I forgot about the consequences and went straight for punching him. But, I was faster for some reason so when I practically punched his face in (literally), I was also able to evade the gunshots by jumping over the desk and hiding behind it. Luckily, the leader was embedded in the wall close to the desk so grabbed him out of it and fished out the gun from his pants. I aimed the gun to his head; it's not really my choice of weapon, but it works.

"Haru, sir!" One of the men yells.

"Any of you move and Haru gets the same fate that Izaya has only he won't be breathing when I'm done with him." I say menacingly as I feel the body start to wake up. When Haru does wake up he starts panicking as he notices he's in my arms with a gun pointed to his head. Most, if not all, humans act this way. Even if they prance around telling everyone they're strong and brave, once a gun (or any other menacing weapon) is aimed at their head, they start flailing and begging for mercy.

"Hey Heiwajima, I didn't…I didn't mean what I said…"

"Break the fucking contract." I demand angrily.

"We can't break the contract unless Izaya is here…" Haru says as he grips on my arms to try to release my hold around his neck. "Besides…if I break the contract, the higher-ups will kill me!"

"Either way you're gonna die." I say as I tighten my hold. He starts struggling to breathe.

"Dude, you're fucking crazy!" Haru says loudly. I get fed up with him so I throw him over the desk and kick the desk forward rapidly and with so much force that it pushes most of the guys in front of me to the entrance. While the guys still standing are distracted by their wounded buddies I grab the filing cabinet that's in the room and throw it at one of them. I punch the other guy in the face, making him fly across the room and the last one aims the gun at my head, but I kick it in the air and it lands at my feet. He stares at me for a moment in disbelief and terror and then waves his hands in front of his face frantically.

"Where are the higher-ups?" I ask angrily. The guy almost pisses his pants as I pick him up by his collar.

"They're in another abandoned building way across town. But they'll never break the contract either, Izaya is our ultimate weapon. They won't give that up!"

"We'll see about that." I say as I throw him the ground. Now I have to head all the way across town? Love really does make you do stupid things. I'm not only going through all this trouble, but I'm also messing with the yakuza. I'm not only stupid, but crazy.

The underlings of the yakuza were _kind_ enough to give me the address to the building. Of course they're probably gonna be in some deep shit later, but why would I care about them?

I break the entrance down and see an elevator and some stairs. Since it's an abandoned building I'm thinking it wouldn't be too wise to go through the elevator so I drag my way up the stairs. Like the other abandoned building there's a bunch of guys standing inside with their leader in the middle. I tighten my hold on the gun I had taken from the underlings.

"Ah, Shizuo Heiwajima; it's nice to finally meet you." The guy says happily as he claps his hands together. "I'm sorry I don't have a chair for you, I wasn't expecting company."

"Where's the fucking contract!" I ask angrily. I'm tired of going back and forth.

"Ah, Izaya's contract? Is _that_ what you're looking for? If I remember clearly you said you wanted him dead." I stay silent. "Could it be that you're actually his lover?"

"Stop screwing around and give me the fucking contract!"

"Shizuo, you should realize by now that you never get things easily in this life. How about we make a little bet? If you win this little game I'm gonna choose then I'll break the contract and leave the little slut alone. But if I win, I get to keep him; sound fair?"

"What kind of game?" I ask through gritted teeth. He smiles and someone hands him a gun. He opens it and I see that it's empty. "I think you'll be familiar with it once we get started." He says with a smirk.

I remember seeing this in a movie once. There were two guys, two guns. One bullet is placed in the gun at random, sometimes more are added. Then the 'fun' begins and they start playing the game. If the gun doesn't shoot, then you're in the clear. If it does, well, let's just say you lose not only the game but your life. It really shouldn't even be called a game.

"You know how to play this game, I can tell." The man says with a cat-like smile. "Now then, shall we?"

I lift up my gun and aim it at my head, fearing the worst. The man in front of me does the same, but with a cocky smile. I really doubt that they're gonna play by the rules.

One of the yakuza guys gives me the signal to pull the trigger so I do as I'm told and here a click ring through my ears. The leader doesn't look to happy after that. Then the leader goes and I hear another click. We wait a moment and then restart, another click sounds for both of us. After a while the clicking noise is starting to get irritating but I would rather hear that against my ear than a gunshot.

After a couple more rounds we're finally to the last one. I hesitate for a moment then press the gun to my head, uneasily, though I don't let the leader get the satisfaction of seeing me weak and scared. The man in front of me just smirks as he presses his gun to his forehead and waits for the signal to watch my head explode probably.

My heartbeat gets faster, I get a little more panicked before I finally pull the trigger.

Another click.

The men stare in utter surprise. I'm shocked too, but I don't show it on my face. The leader hesitates with his gun. He probably figured that I was going to blow my head off before it came to this. He probably had this all planned. He purposely put the bullet in the last slot for both of them, but I was forced to go first so that in the last round I'd lose. So now he's scared because he knows he's gonna lose. But if that's the case and mine did have the bullet in the last slot then why didn't it go off?

The yakuza referee is afraid to call the signal, but after he does the leader sighs and smiles.

"Nice game, Heiwajima." He says and puts down the gun. "I don't know how you did it, but you did."

"I guess I'm lucky." This strikes an idea in the man in front of me and he heads into a room after retrieving the contract from his desk. He comes back out with a cage and a little creature inside.

"Here, Izaya would want to have this dirty thing back. And here's the contract." He says as he rips it right there and gives me the pieces. "I enjoy being on top, but my life is a pretty high price for that damn prick." I know he's a prick, but he's _my_ prick. I look down at the cage and finally notice what it is.

It's Shizzy-kun. After all this time it's really him. I look at him in disbelief. I then remember Izaya telling me that rabbits are supposed to bring good luck.

"_Maybe we'll get rich, Shizu-chan!" _Izaya told me once.

"You're a good boy." I say to him as he gets up and sniffs me. I put my finger through the cage and smile, but unfortunately get said finger nibbled on. "I take back what I said."

"Yeah…anyway seems like Izaya would really want him back. After we took him, he was intent on staying with us even after his debt was paid off."

"What?"

"Well, he paid off his debt about two years ago and was intent on leaving, but once we captured this little guy and told him what we'd do if he left, he decided to stay. So that's when we made a new contract with him. That guy sure is a pansy." I punch the guy in the face and watch him hit the wall before I smirk and glare at the other men in the room.

"I swear, if I ever see you guys near Izaya, I'll make sure that you never come out of this damn building with arms or legs!" I say threateningly as I finally take my leave with Shizzy-kun. The little guy is already six years old and looks pretty laid-back, not as lively as he was before, but he's still cute and kicking.

"Let's take you back to your mommy, eh Shizzy-kun?" I say as I look down at the relaxed little creature.

"_Shizzy-kun is very important to me. He was given to me by my favorite monster."_ Izaya once told a lady down at the vet. Pets usually become one of the family and Shizzy-kun is no different. He's always been very important to Izaya. I, myself, have really gotten attached to him even after all this time he's a real light at the end of the tunnel kind of rabbit.

Someone once said that a rabbit's foot is supposed to be lucky. I guess having one rabbit with both feet, is extremely lucky.

* * *

A/N: Shizzy-kun makes his second appearance! DUN DUN DUN! My rabbit snowie is lucky too, when we play cards with him (usually the game where you guess if the card is higher or lower than the first card you picked out) he's usually the winner! ANYWAY please please review! It makes my day go even better!


	8. Happy Birthday

I think two more chapter and this story shall be done! TT~TT It's a bittersweet moment. Anyway, I really loved writing this chapter :3 I hope you guys enjoy it. Please tell me what you think afterwards so I can assess myself. Also if they're any mistakes don't hesitate to tell me :D Now onto the story!

**Warning**: Possible OOCness and fluffiness ahead. If this makes you vomit please leave now. If you think that the people who vomit over such things are enigmas to you, then please proceed!

* * *

**Izaya's POV**

I can feel a sharp pain on my head and I feel drained of energy, but I open my eyes nevertheless. To tell you the truth, I'm not such a popular guy. A lot of people have it out for me because I sold out information that caused them trouble, so I'm pretty much hated. The only friends I have are Shinra and Celty…sort of. So when I find myself surrounded by get well gifts I kind of feel a bit confused. There's a bunch of vases filled with flowers on the desk next to me and on the window sill. There are a few teddy bears and balloons. Whoever bought all this must have done so out of impulse. I then look to my side and find my hand in someone else's. The person has beautiful blonde locks that could only belong to my favorite monster. I run my fingers through his hair, which makes him stir but not wake.

Wait…am I on a hospital bed? No…this is Shinra's room. Who brought me here? What happened? Suddenly, I remember how I got this pain in my head and why I'm here now, but I don't remember who brought me or why Shizu-chan is sleeping beside me in a chair.

"Shizu-chan…" I say as I poke his head. "Ne, ne Shizu-chan!" I say loud enough to make him jolt up and fall backwards in his chair. He curses as he rubs the back of his head and fixes his fallen chair. I laugh a little and then feel his eyes looking at me. He looks like he's seen a ghost so I look around me and try to see what he's looking at.

"Izaya…" He says before embracing me unexpectedly. I could feel his breath on my neck, it sends shiver up my spine, but it's a feeling I've grown to enjoy.

"Have you been here all night?" I ask as I remember that it was really late when the whole fight had happened between Shizu-chan and the yakuza.

"No, I've been here all _five_ nights." Shizu-chan corrects me as he pulls away from me. I look to all the gifts and then something clicks in my head.

"You're the one who got me all this stuff?" I say as I pick up a teddy bear off the floor. This accusation makes Shizu-chan flustered. He scratches his head and coughs a little before trying to explain.

"I…I mean…I know it's stupid…" He says simply. Then he mumbled something incoherent. I furrow my brows and poke him, egging him on to tell me what he just said. He says it again, but still slightly mumbles it.

"Come on, Shizu-chan. Spit it out." I say as I glare at him.

"Fine! I just wanted to make you smile when you woke up, okay?" He says loudly and then ruffles his hair in embarrassment. "Man, you're so persistent…" He says as he walks over to the corner of the room and picks up a cage that's covered by a light blanket. I stare at the cage curiously, but then smile as I realize what must be inside.

"Shizu-chan…you actually…you actually got him back?" I ask and then laugh a little. "Who knew a heartless monster like you actually cared this much." This kind of stung him.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you earlier…and I'm sorry I was so fucking stubborn…" He says apologetically. I bring Shizzy-kun out of the cage and stroke his fur comfortably. Shizzy-kun makes himself comfortable in my lap and licks my pants, probably to taste the fabric softener. I smile a little and then look up at Shizu-chan.

"You're still a virgin, right?" I ask out of the blue.

"What kind of question is that? I'm trying to have a fucking heartfelt moment and then you just…!" He stops midway and shakes his head in disbelief, but he doesn't seem too furious. I eye him seriously. "No, no I haven't. Happy now?"

"Very much so, Shizu-chan." I say honestly as I continue to stroke Shizzy-kun's fur. "It's been killing me these past few years…"

"Huh?" Shizu-chan asks dumbly.

"I've really been worried that you really _did_ break all your promises." I say as I look at Shizzy-kun who's already sleeping in my lap. "I haven't been able to sleep soundly for a long time. All the time I was gone I thought that maybe Shizu-chan moved on and found himself someone else. Of course if I got back and this assumption was true, I'd kill them." I say with a devious smile. Shizu-chan just laughs.

"I don't doubt it since you're a fucking psychopath. That's why I haven't dated anyone since you left. I didn't want to be a widowed man."

"Che right, you were waiting for me." I say with a smile.

"Fuck no!" Shizu-chan says loudly, but the blush on his face says he's lying.

"Yes you were~!" I say with a laugh. "Don't deny it, Shizu-chan~!" There's a moment of silence and then Shizu-chan sighs deeply. He leans over and lowers his head before kissing my cheek softly. I hadn't really expected him to act so gently or affectionately. "I thought you said you hated me."

"I'm a promise breaker _and_ a liar." He says simply. "But I swear, if you do something dangerous like that again, I'm gonna bury you alive." I just smile and nod. "By the way, your friends told me to tell you that they're sick of you and that you're contract is broken." It took me a minute to figure out what this meant. I look at Shizu-chan and look surprised at him; an expression I haven't made in a while in front of another person before.

"You actually survived their little game?" I ask as I remember how they dealt with people and their suggested compromises.

"Yeah. I don't know how, but I did."

"Doesn't look like you got shot." I say as I wonder if being a monster meant he could survive a gunshot and heal really fast so there's no trace of the wound.

"No dip-for-brains, I didn't get shot and survive. The gun didn't even go off." He corrects me rudely.

"Ah, how did you manage that?" I ask simply.

"I guess luck was on my side." Shizu-chan says before petting Shizzy-chan affectionately. Shizu-chan then checks his watch and pats my shoulder. "You ready to go home?"

"Ah, but it's so far away…" I say as I put Shizzy-kun back in the cage.

"You're not going back to Shinjuku." Shizu-chan says as he fishes something out of his pockets. "You're coming back with me to my place." He takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights it. I get up out of the bed and snatch the pack of cigarettes.

"Since you're such a protozoan I better inform you that smoking damages your lungs." I say sternly.

"Since you're coming home with me, I need those. You give me a lot of stress and this is how I unwind."

"I'll have sex with you if you stop smoking." I say hastily with a sly smile. The cigarette he put in between his lips suddenly falls out of his mouth when he stares at me in shock. I stomp on the cancer stick and smirk at him. "Is that a yes?"

"No!" He says but he blushes nevertheless. "Shut the fuck up, flea!" Ah, the good ole days. I really missed them and I've missed Shizu-chan's cute expressions.

Shizu-chan carries Shizzy-chan's cage and I open the door for him. Shinra meets up with us at the door and smiles as he notices that I'm doing far better now.

"Oh right, Shizuo said he was gonna take you home so he could keep an eye on you." Shinra says with a grin.

"Which is Shizuo's way of saying he's gonna make love to me all night long~" I say teasingly.

"WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!" Shizu-chan says loudly as he takes my hand and pulls me away before I can say anything, before even Shinra can say anything. He slams the door and drags me off angrily back to his humble abode, which is most likely messy since the last time I cleaned it up. After a while Shizu-chan settles down and starts to walk calmly. His hand travels from my wrist to my hand. People start staring, but I ignore them. All that's on my mind right now is Shizu-chan's hand holding mine (while we're in public no less!) I can't quite think straight anymore. Here I am, walking with Shizu-chan and though he hasn't said that he loves me, I'm positive that he does. This being said, I don't want to do anything serious with Shizu-chan until he says that he loves me.

**Shizuo's POV**

I'm holding his stupid hand. Why the fuck am I doing that when there's people watching? I don't know what has come over me, but despite it making me completely humiliated, it feels really good. His hands are soft and warm in my grasp. They're smaller than mine, but that's expected since he's smaller than me in all aspects. Well…I don't know about one aspect because I've never seen him naked…Fucking perverted mind…

For once in my life I feel kind of happy. I don't care about the people staring anymore. I finally got Izaya back and this time I'm not letting him go. He might drive me fucking crazy, but I've never felt comfortably being sane in the first place.

"Shizu-chan hasn't been this romantic since we dated in high school~" Izaya says happily. "What's come over you?" I turn around and glare at him. "Hmm?"

"Do you want to rest at my place or do you want me to send you back to Shinjuku so you can get raped by those yakuza guys that kept you hostage?" I ask with a glare.

"I much rather not lose my virginity to someone I hate, thank you very much~" He says as he holds onto my hand more tightly. "But I wouldn't mind losing it to some certain monster~"

"Shut up, flea." I say out of force of habit.

"Look! They _are_ back together, Dota-chin!" I hear that annoying girl say from across the street. I grab Izaya by his wrist again and drag him through a shortcut to my apartment. I don't want to have to deal with those crazies anymore than I already have and besides I'm already dealing with Izaya.

When we finally make it to my apartment I close the door and hope to God that that girl didn't follow us. Izaya looks around and laughs a little as he notices the mess. I haven't really cleaned this place up since Izaya got hurt. I've been at Shinra's looking after him this whole time so I hadn't had any time to actually spruce up the place for his arrival.

"You know, all the flowers and whatnot that you bought me are still at Shinra's." Izaya reminds me as he lies on the couch. "Are you gonna bring all those flowers over here so you can sprinkle the rose petals on the bed before we make love~?"

"We're not making love." I say sternly, although the idea does sound appealing. I can't possibly do that sort of thing though. Izaya just woke up from his coma and he's still pretty weak, so I don't want to rush things. "You want me to make you something to eat?"

"You're not gonna say it, are you?" Izaya asks me vaguely. I know what he means, but I can't really bring myself to tell him those three stupid words. Can I really bring myself to say those three words after all this time apart from him?

"You want me to tell you that I love you, right?" I ask him as I look down on him as he sits up from where he is on the couch.

"It's the least you can do for me since you hurt my feelings." Izaya says as he puts his hand on his heart and pretends like he's been stabbed. "You know I went through a lot of trouble just to get back to Ikebukuro just to see you again. I mean, not a lot of people will do that. They usually just fall in love with someone else instead of going after their ex. Though we didn't really break up since I talked about it, maybe all this ti—" Honestly, I just wanted him to shut up; that's why I kissed him. I haven't felt this way in a long time and it feels damn good.

I put my hands on his cheeks and rub my thumbs against them as I lick over his lips. He doesn't hesitate to open his mouth to give my tongue entry. I hungrily attack his mouth as I position myself next to him on the couch. Soon enough though, he drags me down on top of him. He wraps his arms around my neck and moans into the deepened kiss. Then I feel his hand travel to my belt, tugging at it to try to remove, or perhaps try to give me a hint. I pull away and stare down at the man I've had dreams of since he escaped my grasp those six years ago.

"You just woke up from a coma…" I say as I get off of him, feeling a bit shameful.

"I'm fine, Shizu-chan and I didn't hear you say those three little words." He says as he grabs my hand and tries to bring me back to lean over him. "It's really not fair, Shizu-chan. I've already told you _those_ words more than once already." I look over to him and nod as I blush. I know, I know. I want to say it, but since it's been a while, I feel a bit uncomfortable doing so. "A kiss is not a proper answer. It could mean anything. Besides, I want to _hear_ you same them."

"I had forgotten how demanding you are." I say as I rub my temples in frustration. He looks kind of mad at me now. He turns his head the other way and sighs. I sit next to him and lean over to kiss his cheek and then his neck. I take in his aroma and feel myself drowning. How could I be so stupid as to let something bad happen to him? He told me numerous times that he still loved me, still kept his promises for me, cared about me. I didn't pay any mind to that because I was so angry.

After a while, he seems to have forgiven me and leans into my butterfly kisses. I turn his head to me and kiss him on the lips again, but pull away more quickly than last time.

"I still can't believe that after all this time and after everything you've done to me…I still love you." I say as I shake my head. "But I do…I love you…"

"You just want sex~" Izaya sneakily says as he plays with my tie.

"Again, you ruined the moment." I say simply. "You're the one who persisted in me saying it!" I say angrily. Before I say anything else, I feel his lips on mine again. Lust kind of takes over from here and we're just enjoying the taste of each other as we moan into each other's mouths.

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya says as he pulls away from me. "I'm really okay…so can we…?"

"Last time we tried, you were scared." I remind him, which makes him blush. He waves his hand as if it's no big deal and starts laughing to cover his embarrassment.

"I don't remember something like that. Besides, if anything Shizu-chan must have stopped. Kasuka told me you were (and probably still are) shy about sex~"

"I was nervous about it." I admit simply. "But I wasn't going to regret making love to you that night."

"Ah, that's just like Shizu-chan. Such a perverted monster."

"No, I wouldn't have regretted to make love to you that night because then I wouldn't be in so much agony these six fucking years thinking someone else took your first time!" I say angrily and then turn my head away from him so he doesn't see the blush creep on my face. He stays silent for a while, probably because he hadn't expected my answer.

I then feel arms wrap around my neck and a warm body press up against me. His head nuzzles into the side of my neck and his hair tickles my cheek.

"I love you, Shizu-chan." He suddenly says and then I smile at myself. He still hasn't noticed it. Maybe it's because he thinks it's the other one?

"I love you too." I say as I press my forehead against his and then grab his hand grab onto the ring I had placed on his finger while he was asleep. I had put it on the same finger that he wears his other silver ring, but removed the other. I'm guessing that all this time he thought it was still the silver plain one. I move it over to the ring finger and kiss it. He looks at me in shock and then looks at the ring.

"You…"

"I could finally afford one." I say calmly, but my heart is beating so fast I feel kind of dizzy. I bend down on one knee, praying to God that I don't have to be in this position for long and then smile at him. "I know my proposal is gonna suck…but…Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me, you crazy psychopath?" He laughs a little, but then puts arms around my neck.

"If you don't already know my answer then you really are an idiot." Izaya says as he laughs. "Of course I will." He adds in a little afterwards. "I can't believe I hadn't noticed it before."

Well, I was covering it. I had taken his hand in mine in public so he wouldn't see it and I was holding it while he was at Shinra's too. Besides, Izaya had been in a coma for six days and still hasn't been quite aware of the things around him.

"_That's_ why I want to wait." I explain as he looks at the ring thoroughly. He smiles and then looks up at me. "You feel like having sex _now_?" He smiles and shakes his head. I sit down next to him and kiss his forehead. "By the way, happy birthday, Izaya." His head lifts up and he looks over to my calendar which has the date circled as May 4th and he hugs me almost instantly as he probably remembers that that _is_ the day of his birth.

Everything's gonna be alright now because I have you back and this time I'm not letting you leave me. Now there's just the trouble he's gonna cause me over the wedding preparations and whatnot. I can tell he's gonna be a pain to deal with, but I'm not too worried or stressed about it. When you love someone, you grow to love them as a whole, not just as pieces. Ever since we were younger I've loved all of him. I was just too angry at myself for allowing that to happen. I mean he _is_ a crazy psychopath, but I guess he's _my_ crazy psychopath.

* * *

A/N: X3 I had noticed in the eariler chapters that Shizuo mentioned it was spring and I'm like OMG that's when Izaya's birthday is! I'm like YES! Anyway, I'm sorry again about the OOCness. It was kind of necessary :\ By the way, please, please review. I love feedback :3


	9. Like a Real Couple

Okay...I'm sorry if this chapter is filler, I just had it in my head and _had_ to get it out or else it was gonna bug me...And let me tell you, it was persistent. Anyway, I had lied last chapter and I'm sorry DX There are _now_ two chapters after this one. I just didn't want to go straight to the wedding until I had some view of their life before getting married. It was fun to write so I hope it's fun to read too! Please enjoy the story and please review if you can! I love reviews like I love chocolate :3

**Warning**: What you are about to read contains OOCness and fluffiness, so if this disturbs, angers, or sickens you please leave now. For the rest of the people who think the former people are crazy, please enjoy :3

* * *

**Nine Months Later **

Celty is the one who told Izaya and even though I'm good friends with Celty…I don't think that I'm able to _not_ be mad at her right now. She really didn't have to inform Izaya of some dumb catalogue for weddings, which he just _had_ to order right away. Now he's practically glued to that book. I feel like he'd rather marry that thing than me.

After Izaya had mentioned to Celty that he and I were getting married, those two have been talking nonstop about ideas for the wedding and whatnot. Of course, Izaya talks to me about the final decisions and we pick out the best stuff together. We're a team now, but that doesn't mean we don't bicker like we used to. Right now he's debating on whether we should have the wedding outside. He hasn't put down the phone since he came back from the store.

Oh, I should also say that we're living together now. We got this real nice apartment in Ikebukuro; Izaya sold his old apartment he had in Shinjuku a couple weeks after I proposed to him. We moved in not too long ago, but we still have boxes lying around. Izaya loves to organize the place to his liking, but he allows for me to be my usual lazy self sometimes. He doesn't mind the occasional mess. The place doesn't look too bad, aside from the boxes. Izaya likes walking barefoot around here since we have nice carpets. When looking for a place he insisted in it having a carpet. He doesn't mind vacuuming and maintaining it.

"Ah, yeah I'm looking at it right now. It's on page forty, right?" Izaya asks Shinra on the phone. Unfortunately, Shinra gets stuck with interpreting for Celty when she wants to communicate with Izaya. Poor fool. Izaya isn't much a girl, but he sure can get stuck on the little details of anything. He puts a pocky in his mouth and holds it there as he talks. It's his new habit, I've noticed. "No, that one's kind of girly looking." I smile at him from where I'm watching him on the couch. I'm usually really lazy around the house on the weekends. Izaya is usually busy with wedding stuff.

We decided on getting married in the summer, in July of next year. He picked July 24th as the "perfect day to get married." I told him I don't see anything special about that random date, but he just continued with "Of course it's not important or special _now_, but it will be once we get married on that day, protozoan." I swear he drives me crazy, but I like it that way.

"Celty says that everything is set up. The cake is gonna be really nice, she picked it out, but she wants it to be a surprise."

"It better be chocolate." I say as he sits down next to me. No matter how old I get, sugar is gonna be my favorite thing to eat. Izaya knows that.

"Chocolate doesn't go with the décor we picked out together. It'll be a big brown target in a room full of white and blue."

"Che, brown goes with white and blue." I argue simply as I change the channel. Meanwhile Izaya looks through the wedding book he ordered online weeks before.

"Yeah, maybe if you were color blind." He says as he laughs. "Do you want to pick out the invitations since I picked out the color theme for the party?" He asks me as puts on his reading glasses and searches in the index for invitations. I pull him close to me and ruffle his hair. He nuzzles his head in the crook of my neck and sighs.

"We can do that later." I say as I sigh comfortably. "You're favorite soap opera is on." I remind him as I turn the channel to his favorite soap opera. Since he loves seeing reactions so much (and drama) he got hooked to soap operas really fast. Though, he doesn't cry or get all emotional over what happens, just gets that wide grin on his face when we sees someone get hurt or killed. Yeah, he's still psycho.

"I thought you hate it?" Izaya asks me as he starts watching the new episode.

"I do, but I don't mind it so much since it's the only time I get to spend time with you. You've been so busy lately; you never relax unless it's when you watch this." I explain to him as I look at the screen. I lean over him and kiss his neck.

"Ah! I just remembered. We need to start making a list of who we're going to invite! I better put that on the list of what we need to do."

"Put this on your list of what you need to do: Spend time with your fiancé." I say as I put my arms around his waist.

"I can do that later." He says as he's trying to get up so he can head into the kitchen to grab more of his stupid lists. I don't let go of him though. I pull him down so he's on my lap. I swing his legs so they're resting beside me and hold onto his waist more tightly so he doesn't escape.

"You're gonna do that right now." I say as I tackle him and throw him on the couch so that he's lying down. He kicks and struggles, but I pin him down and start kissing his neck again. After a while of struggling he starts to hum as I do this, but then I hear…the doorbell. Fuck.

"Oh, that must be Kasuka." Izaya says happily as he practically shrugs off what we were just doing. "I told him that he hasn't seen our new place yet and he hasn't visited you in a long time since he was working on that new movie." For the first time in my life, I rather not have Kasuka come and visit. Eh, but what are you gonna do?

"Come on in, Kasuka." Izaya says with a smile as he lets Kasuka and Hina inside. He looks all tidy and professional; he's wearing casual clothing, just a T-shirt and a short sleeved jacket, but he looks better than me since I'm wearing lounge wear. I like wearing sweatpants around the house and just a plain shirt, sometimes not even a shirt if it's hot.

"What's going on?" Kasuka asks dully.

"Oh, Shizu-chan just wants to get in my pants; you know, the usual." Izaya says with a shrug. Hina flinches from surprise. Kasuka doesn't really mind.

"Flea!" I say as I blush furiously. "He doesn't mean what he said." I try to explain. Hina just blushes and Kasuka says that it isn't a big deal. Every time my brother was around when Izaya and I were dating, Izaya would always embarrass me in front of him.

"You guys look really happy." Kasuka says in his usual monotonous voice. "And you're new place looks really…fitting." He says as he looks around at the décor. Izaya only let me pick out the damn carpet and the TV. The rest of the stuff in our place was picked out by King Perfect. It's just furniture; I don't get why it's such a big deal. Izaya says it represents the kind of people we are. We're just people, does it really matter what kind?

"You let Izaya pick out everything, right?" Kasuka asks me. I glare at him because he's right. "Don't worry about it. I let Hina pick out everything at our place too."

"Izaya was being a prick about it; that's why I didn't bother helping." I explain as I motion them to sit down on our couch. "Thankfully, the colors of the walls weren't a problem; otherwise he would have had me paint every room in his damn apartment."

"You would have done it too." Izaya reminds me as he serves our guests some lemonade (since it's so hot). "We can take a tour around the house in a little while _after_ Shizu-chan picks up all his mess from our bedroom." He says as he stares at me. I sigh and get up to head to our bedroom.

**Izaya's POV**

"So, when are you getting married?" Hina asks me happily.

"Ah, July 24th of next year. It is going to be a small wedding, nothing too big." I tell her. "As soon as Shizu-chan picks out the invitations, I shall send one to both of you."

"Thank you." They both say happily.

"Anyway, we've been planning these last nine months and I'm really pleased with all the preparations." I say as I take a sip of my drink. "Shizu-chan isn't much of a neat and tidy kind of guy so all this organizing is a bore to him."

"Ah, but did he propose to you beautifully?" Hina suddenly asks.

"He's a clumsy guy, so, in a way, it was as beautiful as he could muster, but it was perfect to me. He even managed to sneak away with placing the ring on my finger where I had my plain silver one before and kept me ignorant until we came back to his place so he could propose on one knee."

"Such a romantic." Hina comments with a blush.

"He's cunning, I'll give him that." I say with a laugh. "But everything's been going well. How are you two?"

"We're doing great." Kasuka says as he holds Hina's hand. "It's nice to know everything going well with you guys. It's been so long since I've seen my brother so happy. I know he might not show on his face so much, but I can tell."

"Yeah…He's a real softy." I say with a smile.

**Shizuo's POV**

"'Pick up your mess' he says." I say as I mimic Izaya's voice. God, sometimes he can be a nag. "What's this?" I say as I pick up a paper on a clipboard.

Things to Do:

Make guest list  
Hire videographer and photographer (check)  
Purchase dress and tuxedo  
Select and purchase invitations  
Plan honeymoon  
Select and order cake (check)  
Pick out Wedding rings  
Plan small wedding party (check)

I look at the list again with surprise as I zoom into the word "dress." We did _not_ discuss that. I don't even remember hearing him mention that he was going to wear a dress to Celty on the phone unless it was when I was at work.

Truth be told, our wedding is gonna probably be an odd one. It's not necessarily a wedding, more like a very big party which celebrates our partnership, but Izaya wants to call it a wedding; it makes him happy. Shinra is gonna call the shots for the vows since he volunteered. He's not an official priest (just like he's not an official doctor) but it's not really an official wedding so…yeah. Some would probably say it's all pretend, but our love isn't pretend and in our minds this wedding isn't going to be either. We can't legally get married so this is the next best thing. I know I've become really cheesy, but I'll kick anyone's ass who mentions it to me.

The "wedding" is going to be held outdoors where the cherry blossoms grow. There's an empty park there where people often have parties. We're holding the wedding there and the party. Kadota is gonna be our videographer and Erika (or crazy girl as I like to call her) is gonna be the photographer. We trust her to take a lot of photos since she's into that sort of stuff—yaoi stuff I mean…whatever the hell that is (she said it). Celty picked out the cake. I'm picking out the invitations and my best man. It's gonna be kind of a small wedding since a big wedding will probably attract too much attention. Besides, I'm the only one working now. Izaya is unemployed at the moment, but he saved up enough money to buy this new place (with some help from me) and pay for most of the wedding (the rest is paid by me).

I put back the clipboard where I found it and take all my mess to the laundry room and put it in the basket. I then get back into the bedroom to pick up some odds and ends, candy wrappers, receipts, shoes, and other stuff just lying around. Izaya has OCD, so anything out of place bothers him.

"Okay, I finished." I say as I throw out the garbage in my hand.

"Good, but before we take a tour, don't you want to ask your brother something?" Izaya says as he walks up to me and pokes my ribs.

"Ah…um…do I just ask…?" I whisper to Izaya. He nods and heads into the bedroom, probably to inspect my work and then yell at me for forgetting to do something. I clear my throat and then nervously scratch the back of my head. It's not like I have to propose to him, so why I am so nervous? "Um…Kasuka, I want you to be my best man." I say as I put a hand on his shoulder. For the first time in his life he shows a hint of surprise and then bows.

"I'd be honored." I smile and pat his back. Izaya already asked Hina and Celty to be his bridesmaids. I'm a bit slow at completely shit that I have to do. "Thank you, big bro." I ruffle his hair and tell them to come over to take a tour.

I bet if Izaya wasn't as respectful about taking up people's time (though he just loves to take up my time) then he would have kept the two here at our place until nightfall just to show them everything in detail. He can also talk for hours, literally. But he didn't do that, thankfully. Kasuka and Hina left after an hour; that time including our little chats and the thirty-five minute tour. Izaya even talked about Shizzy-kun for ten minutes; Shizzy-kun fell asleep. Shizzy-kun is also attending the wedding as the ring bearer. He's a very well-trained rabbit, so he comes when he's called, well, when _Izaya _calls him. He lazes around when _I_ call him even when I try to bribe him to come to me with food. I'm guessing that since he saved my life he doesn't have to do anything for me anymore.

"I can't wait until July." Izaya says as he lies on our bed. I get out of the shower and smile at him. "Oh we need to get fitted in the next couple of weeks." He reminds me dully as he places the catalogue on his face and hums a song I'm not familiar with. I lift up his shirt and rub his chest. "Shizu-chan…I don't have the energy to deal with your horniness…" He says as he sighs, but I can tell he's smiling.

"I'm not horny." I argue simply. "I just want to touch you."

"I call that being horny." He says as he rolls over on his stomach. "Can you give me a massage?" He asks as he buries his head in the bed.

"Had a rough day?" I say as I begin to massage his back and then travel up to his shoulders. For once, we're acting like a real couple. It feels kind of strange, but comfortable at the same time.

"I had a loooong day." He corrects me. "Shizu-chan, you have your hand on my ass."

"No, it's near your hip." I say as I kiss his back. "Besides, even if it was, you'd like it."

"You _are_ horny." He says with a laugh. "We better get to bed before you do something you might regret, protozoan." He says as he pulls out his switchblade on me after he turns over to face me. It's just like old times. I smirk and grab onto his wrist and put it above him and kiss him passionately. He surrenders the blade, letting it fall to the floor and wraps his arms around my neck.

I can't wait for July either.

* * *

A/N: Okay, I'm terribly sorry if that was way too OOC. It was necessary...I suppose...Anyway, as I said before it's gonna be two more chapters after _this_ one. I'm sorry I'm such a disorganized person XD Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and please review! It's all worth while when I see reviews :D Bye!


	10. Happily Married

Yay, next chapter! Chapter 11 will be the last chapter TT~TT I really wasn't sure how to go about the whole wedding so I'm sorry if there's something wrong here or something that you guys don't like. You guys can tell me. Anyway, please enjoy and review!

Warning: This chapter contains fluffiness, OOCness, and sexual themes. Please leave now if you are not comfortable or are disturbed with these things. The rest please continue and enjoy!

* * *

**5 months later (Wedding Day)**

No one ever said life was easy, but I didn't expect it to be so difficult either. Here I am getting ready to get married, five months later. Shinra is fixing my tie because it just decided to act like a moron _today_. Our guests are getting seated; not that many people were invited since we don't have that many friends. There's Tom and Izaya's sister's in the front row. My mother is sitting next to Izaya's sisters. The people who came are Simon, Celty, Shinra, Kadota, Erika, Walker, Saburo, Mikado (Izaya's apparently good friends with him), Kida (got invited with Mikado), and Anri (got invited with Mikado too). So, there aren't too many people. Izaya's parents were invited, even though he hasn't talked to them in six years. His parent's aren't here though. His father is probably still upset at him after all this time.

"Celty says that Izaya's pretty nervous too, so don't feel like you're the only one. I bet everyone here is pretty nervous too." Shinra says as he smiles.

"I can't believe he's actually wearing a dress." I say as I slap my forehead.

"Ah, well it was his choice. He said he really wanted to look like a bride for you."

"I fell in love with _him_, not some Barbie doll." I say as I shake my head.

"I can't believe you picked Kasuka to be your best man. He doesn't even look happy! I could have been the better choice." Shinra complains as he shakes his head.

"You're still whining about that?" I ask angrily. "Instead of whining, help me with this freaking tie!"

"Why don't you have your best man help you?" I give him a death glare which makes his help me immediately.

After a while of preparing, I finally get to my place beside Shinra with Kasuka behind me. God, this feels really awkward. And this better not be like one of those movies where the bride suddenly changes her mind and runs away then everyone tries to convince her to marry the guy and then she finally does and then there's a damn happy ending. No, I just want it to run smoothly. I'm nervous enough. Having Izaya in a dress is even more nerve wracking.

After a few minutes the music starts up to signal the bride to start walking. At this point, I'm extremely nervous. I suddenly see someone take a seat in the front on the other side of Izaya's twins. By the way she looks, I could already tell it was Izaya's mother. His mother's actually here! I wonder if that means that his father is too?

**Izaya's POV**

I'm glad that they had set up a picket fence to allow for me to stay hidden until I have to enter because I was nervous and I really didn't want everyone to see that. But there was another problem that seemed to arise out of nowhere; well, not a problem, but a surprise which I wasn't expecting.

"I was surprised when you sent us an invitation." My father says in his usual stern tone of voice.

"I'm surprised right now that you actually showed up." I say honestly as I suddenly feel kind of awkward; it's not because I'm wearing a dress, but it's because I haven't talked to him in six years. With Shizu-chan it was also kind of awkward, but not as much because I have a better relationship with Shizu-chan than with my dad.

"You look…"

"Stupid?" I say with annoyance. "I don't need to hear your opinion. I already know how you feel about me. You said everything you needed to that day that I told you guys."

"I was going to say beautiful." I look at him in surprise because I wouldn't expect a father to say that about his son, especially _my_ father. "Even though you're a young man, you've always had your mother's soft, delicate features. I suppose that's why the dress looks well on you." He pauses and gives me a struggled smile. "I'm really sorry for all the horrible things I said about you and your fiancé. I was just surprised and frustrated. I really didn't know how to deal with you, but…I realized after you left that one should not have to _deal_ with their children, but accept them…"

"Father…" I say, unsure of what to say after all that.

"Your mother was really depressed after you left. She loves all her three children no matter what and I'm sure you realize this." He pauses once more and continues. "And I've come to make amends and love my son no matter what too." He holds out his arm to allow me to swing mine around it. I smile and nod.

"Thank you, Father." I say and then hear the music start up. It's not like I'm going to cry or anything, but I feel a bit better that my parents came. I guess Shizu-chan has really made me a sentimental fool.

**Shizuo's POV**

After a few seconds, I finally see my bride-to-be walking down the aisle with his arm around his father's. His father actually came. I smile inwardly as Izaya finally comes to stand across from me, dressed in a light blue dress.

"Take good care of my son." Izaya's father says sternly. I nod and then look at Shinra so that he can begin. He fixes his glasses and opens up a book, not a religious one just some book that he said he placed a piece of paper he wrote himself.

"Okay, we're gonna do things a little less traditional. I'm also gonna make this very cheesy." Shinra proclaims as he opens the book to a random spot, but I can see the piece of paper on the page. "I've personally known these two for a long time…and even though they have their occasional bickering, I truly think that love conquers all." He looks at Celty. "And though there are many differences sometimes between lovers, love has no boundaries. It happens without warning and we can't help who we fall in love with. I hope these two will continue their journey through this life together.

"Now then, shall we get started with the vows?" Shinra asks with his famous stupid grin. Izaya gives him a glare. "Do you Shizuo take Izaya to be your husband to love and cherish no matter the how annoying, crazy, or needy he may be or shall continue to be?" Izaya gives Shinra a glare, but I just take Izaya's hand and smile. I could laugh right now, but that be rude.

"I don't have a choice now." I say with a smile.

"And do you, Izaya, take Shizuo to be your husband to love and cherish no matter how unstable, anger-prone, or destructive he may be or shall continue to be?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." Izaya says with a slight laugh.

"Now where are the rings?" Shinra asks as he looks into the crowd for the ring bearer. Izaya smiles and looks into the crowd as well.

"Here Shizzy!" He calls out and with that we see a fluffy white rabbit appear with the rings set on a small pillow on his head like a hat. The rings were sewed on the pillow so they wouldn't fall off. He hops this way and climbs up the small steps before standing up and allowing Izaya to take the pillow off and cuts the rings off the pillow with a switchblade he hid under his dress. Really…where does he keep those things?

I put his ring on his finger and kiss it before he does the same with mine.

"You may now kiss the bride or groom, which ever you prefer." Shinra says with a smile as he closes the book.

I lean and kiss Izaya as passionately as I can muster in front of these people. Izaya swings his arms over my neck and kisses me back just as passionately. We pull away from each other, but don't let go; neither of us want to. Everyone expresses their happiness about the kiss and our whole wedding, especially our mothers. Izaya's mother comes over after it's all over and kisses Izaya on the cheek. My mother does the same with me, but then persists in fixing my every article of clothing or advising me about other things which I have no interest in.

Everyone else tells us good luck and congrats. I need a lot of luck to be honest.

After the ceremony, we had the wedding party, which was pretty small, but comfortable. Erika took a bunch of pictures and Kadota took the video of us having our first dance and cutting the cake. It was pretty much a laid-back party, not too exciting, just relaxing and festive. Simon was doing all the catering. I swear Izaya ate three pounds of fatty tuna while I was looking.

"I hadn't expected you to wear a dress, Izaya-nii." Mairu says as we relax at a table. It's evening, pretty late right now, but after this we're heading to a hotel for our honeymoon. Izaya insisted on going to a hotel in town because he really didn't feel like waiting to get to somewhere to enjoy our night together. He's pretty eager, but so am I.

"Ah, that was just to annoy, Shizu-chan, but I did look good, right?" My eye twitches as I turn to him.

"You wore that to screw with my head?" I ask loudly.

"What? You thought I was really turning into a cross-dresser?" Izaya laughs and kisses my cheek. "Shizu-chan is still a protozoan." He forks up some cake and feeds me it to calm me down.

He still drives me crazy.

Once most of our guests left we stayed around to look at the stars together. It was kind of a cold night, but we had already changed out of our wedding attire and into warmer clothes.

"So, is Shizu-chan ready this time?" Izaya asks me with a smirk.

"I was ready the first time you asked, but you were the one who wimped out." I say with a laugh. "You said you were scared."

"I don't remember that." Izaya says as he knocks on my head. "You must be losing the little intelligence you have left. I mean, if you had any to begin with." I glare at him and pick him up in my arms, bridal-style. "What the hell are you doing, protozoan!"

"You wanted to dress like a bride, so I'm gonna treat you like one." I say as I carry him into the nearby hotel that we made a reservation with. I have the strength to carry him long distances, but we decided on the closest hotel we could find.

After checking in and everything we finally make it to our room. Izaya lies down on the bed tiredly as loosen my tie. I ruffle my own hair and sigh as I lie down next to him. There's an awkwardness that engulfs the room as the two of us realize our next plan. Of course, I was really nervous when I was younger when Izaya suggested that we should make love, but now I'm not _so_ nervous. The old Izaya wouldn't tease me so much about sex, but right now I'm pretty sure my new husband is gonna tease me about it just to feel less nervous.

"So…are you ready this time?" I ask as I lean over and kiss his cheek. "If you're not ready then I'll understand."

"Why wouldn't I be ready, protozoan? I've been waiting for a long time for this." Izaya says as he sits up and hands his legs over the end of the bed. "I won't lie to you, and don't tease me about it, but I'm pretty nervous." I begin to kiss his neck gently and then nibble on his ear. He puts his hand on my chest, but doesn't push me away. I can see that he's blushing as I do this. "Ne, ne Shizu-chan…you're not gonna be really rough are you?"

"I promise it won't hurt too much." I say as I travel down to his collarbone and kiss along it before unbuttoning his shirt and kissing further southward as I open each button.

"That doesn't reassure me, protozoan." He says bitterly. He lies down nevertheless and puts his arms around my neck as I lean closer to him. I continue kissing his chest until I suddenly have the urge to kiss him on the lips. I travel back up and capture his lips in a kiss, sliding my tongue in immediately and licking over his tongue and teeth. He tastes like cake. I then hear him utter a soft mew noise as I continue sliding my tongue over his. I pull away, leaving a trail of saliva on his bottom lip and look at him curiously. "It…it feels good...is it a crime to make noises…?" I smile and kiss his forehead before sliding my hand on his chest and then to one of his nipples. I play with one of them as I continue to passionately kiss him. After I feel his nipple harden I go to the other one and do the same thing. All the while I can hear him moaning into my mouth.

I pull away from our heated kiss and travel to one of his nipples and begin to suck it gently. Izaya writhes and blushes as I do this, which starts to drive me crazy. He puts his hand behind my head, asking silently for more. I slide my tongue over his nipple after sucking it for a while and then have my hand travel down to his belt. I struggle with it since I'm beginning to feel my pants get tighter. I finally slide it off and send it to the floor. I pull his pants down a little and see that he's already hard. He sees that I still have my clothes on so he sits up and begins to unbutton my shirt clumsily.

"Need some help…?" I ask him as I rub his hard-on gently, massaging his member with my hand. He makes the cutest blushing face.

"No…I…can do it…Ngh…" He says as he strips me of my shirt and feels my shoulders and chest. He lies back down and pulls me down on him. I lean down and suddenly suck his member, although his boxers are still on. I can feel how hard he is through the fabric, though.

"You got this hard already?" I ask with a smile.

"I've never been touched like this before…asshole." He breathes out bitterly. I smile at this and continue sucking his member.

"I'm…I'm glad…" I say as pull down his boxers and kiss the tip of his member before taking all of him in my mouth. I start to suck softly, but then as I feel his hand on the back of my head pushing me, I speed up and continue sliding my tongue over his tender skin. I take him out of my mouth after a few seconds and trail my tongue down his shaft before putting my thumb on the tip. "I don't want you to cum just yet…"

"You…you really are…a monster…" He manages to breathe out before I kiss him again. He closes his eyes as he indulges in the kiss. With my free hand begin to fumble with taking off my pants, but manage to take them off along with my boxers. Izaya finally opens his eyes and looks at me with a blush on his face. "You…you've grown…are you sure…it'll fit…?"

"It will…I'll just have to stretch you...more…" I say as I present him with three of my fingers. "I don't have any lube." I explain. I earn a cute, struggled glare and then I feel him sucking on my fingers eagerly. After I feel like their moist enough I slide them out of his mouth and position one of my fingers at his entrance. To keep him distracted, I kiss him once more and then slide my finger in. He flinches, but then eases into the feeling. When I enter a second finger he moans into my mouth as I start to scissor him, opening his entrance just enough so I can enter a third finger. He pushes me away a bit and pants heavily.

"It feels weird…Shizu-chan…" He says as he writhes around a little.

"You'll feel better in a little while; I promise…It might hurt at first though…" He nods and then his body jumps a little as I enter a third finger. I continue stretching him until I finally feel like he's ready. "Ready…?" He smiles and nods weakly. I slide my tip in and move in gently, trying to slide my member in. When I finally slide my entire member inside he begins to moan a little more loudly.

I begin to thrust in and out, going slowly at first, but then when I see that he's getting used to me, I start speeding up a little.

"Ngh…Shizu-chan…harder…" I smile and begin to thrust more violently into him, the walls of his entrance tightening a little as I do this. I then hit something that makes his body flinch. "Ah! Shizu-chan!" Izaya says as I hit the spot again. I slide in and out, hitting the spot without fail each time I do. I lean forward before starting to pump his extremely hard member.

"Let's cum together…" I say as I hold his hand with my free hand. He nods and holds onto my hand tightly. One more thrust…As I thrust in, hitting the spot once more, he and I release and call out each other's names, probably disturbing the other hotel guests and staff. As I pull out I look at him, taking in his beautiful naked body once more. I collapse next to him, panting heavily. Izaya looks over to me and wraps his arms around me. I can hear his heartbeat though he's breathing loudly.

"I love you…Shizu-chan…" He says as he clings onto me just like when he was younger. I smile at this and kiss his forehead before covering him with the blanket.

"I love you too, Izzy-kun…" I say with a smile. He chuckles at this, but then falls asleep. I hold him in my arms, not wanting to let him go.

I have no regrets right now.

* * *

A/N: I'm not sure if this went too fast or not...Please review and tell me how I did with everything in this chapter. Thank for all the reviews by the way! I enjoy reviews alot. I'll see you guys in the last chapter!


	11. Epilogue

Last chapter D: I'm really glad a lot of people liked this series ^^ Thank you to all my readers and reviewers. I really appreciate it all of you! I'm sorry about this chapter being short, but it just sort of happened that way.

**Warning**: Oocness, fluffiness ahead!

**IMPORTANT**: Please read the bottom important note that will be at the end of the story!

* * *

**2 Years Later**

I never knew that having someone to spend your life with was _this_ rewarding. At first I was nervous about the whole thing because I wasn't sure what to expect, but I've found out that I've never been happier. Izaya and I don't bicker as much as we used to, but if we do we usually forgive each other in no time at all. I'm still working with Tom; Izaya now works as a information broker again, but in Ikebukuro. I told him to find another job, but he refused saying "Although it was because the money at first, the job was really interesting and within my forte." I really don't understand him, even after all this time.

Although he's sometimes hesitant about it, we've kept up our sex life pretty well. We usually make love every so often when we don't have work or something. Izaya insists that we switch positions every now again or even roles; I say yes to the switching positions, no to the roles. I like topping.

We don't go on frequent dates, but every now and again I'll take him out somewhere. Last weekend we went to where we got married and had a picnic with Shizzy-kun like we used to, but Shizzy-kun wasn't up for much playing around since he's already nine years old. Izaya is hoping he'll be around a little longer. I tell him since he has my name, he's probably gonna be around for a long time.

Everything's been going great. I can't really complain. Well, everything _was_ going great until…

"Shizu-chan, you know…" Izaya starts as he hands me my coffee mug, which is filled with hot cocoa rather than coffee. Coffee isn't too sweet for my tastes, not the way Izaya makes it at least. Izaya makes his coffee black.

"What?" I ask as I take the mug from his hands and wrap my arm around him as he sits down next to me. I'm not watching anything particular on TV. Izaya is always the one to pick something out that turns out to be pretty interesting. I never know what to watch.

"Shinra told me about this prototype that he's working on…" Izaya continues and then pauses to see if I'm still listening. I look at him and tell him to proceed. "And it's some drug to make a man get pregnant…" I look at him in disbelief, but he just smiles and pats my head. "Let's just say hypothetically speaking, that I took this drug before we had sex last time…" I swallow the liquid that was swimming in my mouth and look at him with fright. Although kids aren't scaring, the thought of becoming a father is too much for me, especially when we haven't planned that sort of thing.

Then, he laughs.

"You should see your face~!" Izaya says as he moves away from me and laughs. "I really had you, didn't I?" There's something different in his laugh that no one else would probably catch. "Ne, ne Shizu-chan you really thought I'd want to get pregnant? Really? The stretch marks and the gaining weight would ruin my perfect figure." He says as he models himself.

"What perfect figure?" I ask as I sip my drink.

"Shizu-chan is just mad because I played a joke on him…" He says kind of solemnly.

"You really want kids, am I right?" I ask him without turning my head. I can see in my corner of my eye that he flinches.

"Are you really that much of a protozoan, Shizu-chan?" He says kind of nervously. "Being pregnant wouldn't be for me. There's all that stress over gaining weight, the stretch marks, the mood swings, the morning sickness; not to mention going through child labor and the expenses and the—"

"How many do you want?" I ask him seriously as I turn to him.

"Four." He says as he finally caves in. "H-how d-did y-you know…?" I smile as I realize he's stuttering. He curses under his breath as he realizes this too. He used to have this problem whenever he was nervous when he was younger. It only happens when I'm with him so I feel special.

"When you make something serious into a joke it's usually to cover up your embarrassment. When you asked me about the prototype and saw that I was scared, you got embarrassed of asking something so extreme and so you masked it by making it into a joke." I say intelligently. Ah, these are the times when I can actually surprise him.

"Well…?" He asks as he sits closer to me again. "Is Shizu-chan too scared to even think about having kids?"

"I was just a little surprised...I don't know about it…" I say honestly as I scratch the back of my neck nervously.

"Come on Shizu-chan, it could be like that one American movie we saw, Beauty and the Beast. We could have little monster children like they did." I flinch and look at him with a glare.

"First of all, you definitely don't fit the part of Bell, secondly the beast turned back into a human at the end so how could they have monster children? And lastly, they didn't have children at the end at all!"

"Ah, but that's where fanfiction comes in." Izaya reminds me with a smirk. "Ah, remember Erika-chan's fanfiction she made of us?"

"Don't remind me." I say quickly as I shift my attention to the TV again.

"Please Shizu-chan; it'll be nice to have children around the house." Izaya says with a smile. I look over to him and put my arm around him again.

"I wouldn't mind it, I guess…" I say as I kiss his forehead. He looks up at me and kisses my cheek.

"You just want to have sex again~" He says as he nuzzles under my chin. I lift up his head and kiss him on the lips softly.

"And what if I do?" I ask slyly as I begin to attack his neck. I bite it not-too gently and smile to myself as he yelps in pain.

"Ne, ne Shizu-chan you're a pervert!" Izaya says as he smacks me beside my head. I rub my head carefully as he looks at me with a glare. "And you left a mark!"

"Well, that's what you get for joking around the first time and then calling me a monster." I say bitterly. "You could have given me a fucking concussion!"

"With just a smack, Shizu-chan? You're just proving to me that you _are_ a protozoan." I glare at him and tackle him into the couch. "Shizu-chan get off!" He says as he kicks and struggles under my weight and strength.

"Where's the drug so you can take it. I feel like doing it right now." I say with a smirk. I sneak my hand underneath his shirt and run my fingers across his chest.

"Shizu-chan, stop joking around! This isn't funny!" I lean in and kiss him passionately, sneaking my tongue in slowly and brushing it against his. He struggles to talk, his screams becoming muffled and strained. He starts hitting my back repeatedly, trying to make me to stop. I pull away and wipe my mouth to rid it of saliva.

"I was just kidding." I say with a laugh as I get off of him. I sit back down and relax as I wait for him to recompose himself. "But…I really don't mind kids. It'll be nice." Izaya gets up and fixes his shirt before glaring at me.

"You got hard." Izaya says as he points to my crotch. I was really trying to hide that so the joke really would just be left as a joke, but my body didn't realize it was a joke. "You're such a protozoan."

"Would you quit saying that, flea!" I say angrily.

"Ne, ne did I hit a nerve? Poor Shizu-chan." Izaya says happily. "Want me to help you?" He asks sweetly. I glare at him and refuse his offer, even though my hard-on really wishes I hadn't. "Come on Shizu-chan."

"No, I'm fine." I say as I try to relax. Izaya then sneaks his hand on my hard-on and rubs it lovingly. "Flea, get off of me!" I say as I slap his hand away. He then shows me a small pill container with a smirk. I eye him curiously and then realize what kind of pills they are.

"You said you were ready right now." He says as he kisses my cheek. After a little while I sigh and put my hand on his head.

"Fine, flea." I say as I kiss his lips softly. "I should just tell you that you're gonna be one crazy mother." I say with a laugh.

Of course we had to read the directions first and follow them accordingly, but after we did, we were really set on making this thing work. Children are a lot of hard work, but I really don't mind having children as long as it's not a surprise. I really like it when Izaya and I plan things together even if they're small.

I just hope we're not gonna be horrible parents. A monster and an unstable psycho aren't really recommended as parents, but I doubt we'll be the same when we become parents. I'll probably be calmer and Izaya will probably be more mentally stable (hopefully).

The only problem is…how the hell am I gonna deal with a pregnant Izaya when the normal Izaya(if you'd call this Izaya normal) is already too much to handle. I guess…I'm gonna have to find out as we go…

* * *

**IMPORTANT**: I know that this was a bit of a cliffhanger but it was intentionally. I thought to leave it here because the whole children's thing is a whole new problem, but I don't think I will continue this series into another story since it feels like I'm dragging it out too much. I think I will leave it here and have your imagination run wild. If I do get a lot of reviews saying that people want yet another sequel then I'll consider it, but as I've said before I feel like I'm dragging it out too much. Maybe I'll make a oneshot sequel, but that's up to the reviews ^^ Anyways, please review and if you'd like tell me your favorite quote or part of the story! I like hearing opinions. Also, if there are mistakes you can tell me what I did wrong.


End file.
